Relative with dementia

[Mo67r]

Hi all
Just wanted some advice really. My aunty has deteriorated over the last 2 years. Initially has all tests, scans and nothing came back although consultant suspected early Alzheimer’s.
She has refused to attend any further appointments and my uncle is caring for her but he is nearly 80. He is now struggling but will not admit as he doesn’t want her to go into care.
I need to do something but I don’t know what. I thought I would contact the consultant to visit her but she will not let him in. My uncle doesn’t want to but he is going to end up ill himself.
She is not looking after herself now with regards to hygiene and is starting to become a little aggressive towards
My uncle as she thinks there is nothing wrong with her.
They have one son who lives abroad and basically cannot be bothered to even ring them.
There is no reasoning with her she will not go to see her own GP either even under false pretences to get her there.
I’m more concerned for my uncle at the moment.
Any advice on next steps?
Thank you

 

[margherita]

Hi @Mo67r ,
I'm afraid there is not much you can do if your uncle thinks he can cope and does not want any help. It sounds horrible, but sometimes the situation can improve only when things worsen.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Mo67r, you are welcome here.

Sometimes a persons needs outweigh their wants and action has to be taken. Other than waiting for a crisis, it may be a good idea to involve Social Services as there are 2 vulnerable adults here and they are owed a duty of care by the LA.

In the hope that it may assist here's a link to a Society Factsheet that may be of use to you

Assessment for care and support in England (418)
PDF printable version

 

[Mo67r]

Thank you for the responses I need to tackle my uncle again today

 

[canary]

I think their GP aught to know about your concerns too. I would write a letter to him/her outlining your concerns which will go on file.
BTW, dont be surprised if SS take no action if your uncle refuses - they take the line that people with capacity have the right to make unwise decisions (sigh)