Rehabilitation -and the future.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by shark2, Jan 18, 2015.

  1. shark2

    shark2 Registered User

    Aug 22, 2012
    136
    n ireland
    Hi Haven't been on for a while. last time I posted my mother had been having falls and wanted to move in to my home, which wasn't feasible at all.
    To cut a long story short she fell about 4 times during Christmas. First fall was out her backyard - I was in hall and she went out back. Door slammed and knocked her over - 2 black eyes and and a big bump to head. Then she was staying at mine christmas eve - fell and broke a rib. Fell twice more so I phoned ambulance. Very bad infection and broken 2 bones in her neck. Really very poorly but definitely on the mend now.

    She is wearing a harness and brace to help heal. Now that medically she is ok, they plan to send her to rehab. I know it's for her mobility but i am very scared about what the future holds. May God forgive me, but part of me hopes she will be assessed as not being able to come home. She is aggressive and demanding - last night at the hospital she threatened to throw her drink round me and then told me to f*** off because I wouldn't take her home with me. How can she not remember what she had for lunch but she remembers that she wants to live in my house?:eek::confused:

    I have written before about how she hates being alone and that myself and sons each stay overnight with her. I bring her to my house every afternoon and she stays for dinner and goes home at around 7 or 8 depending on what time the sitter comes at.The sitter then stays until one of us comes to stay or until she goes to bed. To be honest, the boys have both said they prefer staying in their own beds, and although I have been going to visit her twice a day it is less stressful than the usual routine. My cousin went to see her this afternoon and I had a lovely day - just chilling and doing very little. It was so nice. My sundays are usually spent with her.Forgive me for waffling:rolleyes::rolleyes:
     
  2. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    Hi, sorry Mum's been so poorly, but you need to involve yourself in the discussions about her future. Make it clear to them ( the rehab team) that you will NOT be caring for Mum on the previous scale...tell them that your sons want to stay at home in their own beds now, and so do you. Make them understand that you will not be there to keep things ticking over nicely and that, if they choose to send her home, it will be without your presence or support......and then drop it in that when Mum falls again it will be their responsibility for sending an unfit old lady home to live on her own.

    .....of course, they might decide that a CH is the preferred option anyway:rolleyes:
     
  3. Moonflower

    Moonflower Registered User

    Mar 28, 2012
    775
    I think Cragmaid is quite right. Whatever support you would really offer to your mum - tell the rehabilitation team that you can no longer offer the care you have been doing. They have a responsibility to make sure she is looked after. If they think you will do everything they will leave you to struggle, however unfair that is.
    If they decide that your mum needs to go to a care home then you can tell your mum it's just until she gets stronger/more mobile etc.
    You and your sons deserve to be able to sleep in your own beds
     

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