My mother-in-law 'Jane' is registered blind and has increasing dementia. Her son and daughter live many miles away and carers go in 3 times a day. The neighbours also offer what support they can. However carers, neighbours, friends and family are increasingly concerned about her safety and wellbeing. Jane cannot reliably use a phone any more and doesn't know what her lifeline bracelet is for. She has been very confused about the time of day and has forgotten how to use her RNIB talking clock/calendar. Her memory span is about 5 minutes and therefore she becomes distressed that "no one has been to see me" for days/weeks etc. Jane is also becoming a bit of a problem for the neighbours, and was hospitalised recently after a nasty fall. She loved being in hospital but when she came home had forgotten how to get herself a drink, make tea etc. Jane goes to a local care home twice a week and enjoys her time there but cannot often remember she has been/is going. The hope was that she would gradually become accustomed to the home and would agree to go there. However she says (as she always has done) that she does not want to go 'into a home' and 'I'd rather kill myself'. Understandably the home will not take Jane against her will. We are confident though that once there she will be happy as she is gregarious and is lonely at home. Son and daughter have enduring power of attorney and so deal with everyday matters for her. The doctor has referred her to the Community Mental Health team. Has anyone had experience of a loved one refusing to go into a care home? Any responses would be most welcome.