Refusing to eat and drink or take medication

[AW1938]

Hello
It has been a wile since I posted. My mum has alzheimers and has been in a care home since Jan 17. Over the past 2 /3 months mum has almost stopped eating, apart from the odd biscuit or chocolate. Mum has also started refusing her meds - we can't hide them in her food as she isn't really eating any! Obviously she is now losing weight and is very frail and unsteady.
What can be done?Has anyone else been through this? Mum is described by her gp as having advanced alzheimers.

I suspect the end is coming but how do you know?
Any advice would be great. Thanks

 

[karaokePete]

I don't have personal experience of this but have seen suggestions that fortified drinks can be used for nourishment and it's possible to get alternative types for many meds, such as liquids or patches.

It may be worth chatting to the GP or a local pharmacist.

 

[AW1938]

Thanks for your reply. The problem is she won't accept fortified drinks or milkshakes the home make for her. We are speaking to the gp tomorrow about liquid meds.

 

[chickenlady]

Unfortunately this is how many Alzheimer's sufferers die because they give up eating and drinking. My father went down hill and died very quickly after stopping eating, we were initially able to tempt him with ice cream and therefore ground his medicines down to put into his ice cream but eventually he went to just drinking squash then nothing. It may seem callous but I was relieved when I realised that the end of his suffering was near and he eventually died very peacefully in the night. I wish you well, take care.

 

[AW1938]

Thank you. I feel the same, I hope her suffering is over soon. The gp came today and has said the careers must offer food drink and meds 3 times but if she refuses to leave it.

 

[Spamar]

I think people stop eating and drinking because they are dying, not the other way round.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello @AW1938

It`s possible your mum`s body may be shutting down if she is refusing everything. It`s also possible she doesn`t know the difference between food and her meds.

I think the GP has given the best advice under the circumstances. Offer your mum what is needed to sustain her but allow her to accept or refuse.

I know how painful it is to think someone is slowly starving. When my husband was at this stage I tried to remember how I hated being encouraged to eat when I have been ill and had no appetite.

 

[canary]

When PWDs are at the end of life they stop eating and drinking because their body is slowly shutting down and they cant process the food/fluid.
Sometimes, though, they rally, so it is important to offer food. If they refuse it, though, please dont feel that they are starving to death - it is because the end off life process has already started.

 

[Witzend]

More than once in my mother's (very good) dementia care home I saw residents being endlessly coaxed and badgered to eat and drink when they no longer wanted to. I know it was done with the best of intentions - duty of care and all that - but it could be so painful to see the person crying or whimpering and repeatedly turning their head away.
Personally, I think that once someone is late stage, while offering food and drink is one thing, they should not be pestered like this.
I made up my mind that I would not allow it with my poor mother, but fortunately the question never arose.

 

[Pouli]

My husband wouldn't take anything in his last few days. He seemed to have lost his swallow. It must be terrifying to have food shoved in when you know you can't swallow it.. It's best to let nature take it's course. You are not starving your loved one.