Refusing to be undressed/dressed/washed

[sweety1962]

I also phoned the National Dementia helpline today for support and advice. I would highly recommend this service, as professional, knowledgeable and supportive. The lady, Kathy, was really understanding and gave me some very good advice, regarding Mum's situation. Basically, If you have a loved one with Alzheimer's/Dementia , who's in residential care, but who you are concerned about regarding their welfare/personal care/medical needs, you can phone the Adult Social care team at your local authority, to request they carry out an additional care assessment at the home and , at the same time, phone their GP and request a further medical assessment, in case they are suffering pain/infection, but are unable to communicate this to the carer/family. You do not have to go through the care home to do this, in fact, Kathy advised, that I should not inform the home.....

 

[karaokePete]

That's a result!

 

[sweety1962]

That's a result!

A

That's a result!

 

[Susan11]

My Mum refused personal care for some time at the start of her time in the care home and it was distressing for my - my Mum had always been very particular about hygiene and neatness. As with you the home would try offering care at different times of day. She did allow me to shower her and wash her hair but as I live 200+ miles away that wasn't too frequent. It was linked to her also refusing her medication and I think was part of the disruption of the move into the care home. As she has settled with the medication and eating (and the weather has cooled down) she has also improved on personal care though still has days when she refuses anything. I would definitely check out the possibility of an infection and issues with medication. We still have issues about hair washing and she won't go to the home hairdresser - I suspect I will have to take a day off work to take her some time. I do feel for your distress - I know it was a point when I felt Mum really slipping away from me.

There is another way of washing hair ..its like a showercap which you place in the microwave then put on the person's head and squish around. No rinsing needed. You can buy them on the internet. I've never tried them and of course your Mum might not be prepared to do this.