1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Mossyanne1

    Mossyanne1 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    45
    My husband is now getting very angry when the day care team come for him and is refusing to go. I don't really know how to cope with this as I have M.E. And can't deal with him every day. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.


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  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    What's happened to the respite care? Is that the same thing?
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,596
    Kent
    My husband refused to go too so I got Direct Payments.

    This enabled me to get agency carers in.

    The agency was excellent. They accepted my husband didn`t want anyone in the house on his behalf but they agreed to say they were coming to help me. Help me they did , by doing my housework while at the same time keeping my husband safe while I went `shopping` .

    Gradually they gained his confidence and he was happy being left with them.

    If you have ME, Mossyanne, I`m sure this type of arrangement would help you.
     
  4. Mossyanne1

    Mossyanne1 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    45
    Hi Chug galah, my OH is going next week to respite but at the moment he is just refusing the day care. Honestly - I am at sixes and sevens about everything at the moment, problem being I'm like his comfort blanket, he shadows me everywhere.


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  5. Mossyanne1

    Mossyanne1 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2015
    45
    Hi Grannies G, thank you so much, your message has made me feel more positive. Your suggestion for home care may be the answer to my problem. I will get in touch with my SW and try and arrange it. I really cannot cope with his refusals to go to day care. They are so kind and do everything they can to get him on the mini bus, it's not fair on them to have to struggle with him. There's no reasoning with this awful illness. Much love...xxx


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  6. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    We never experienced day care here. That might have happened, but other things got in the way. I so feel for you because of your own ill health. It must be so hard. Best wishes for the respite. That will help, I know.
     
  7. pamann

    pamann Registered User

    Oct 28, 2013
    2,635
    Kent
    Hello mosseyanne1 how l wish l knew how l could get my hubby to go to day care, he refuses to go, they tell me anything my hubby doesn't want to do he won't do, but that doesn't help us !!!! If you come up with an answer let me know,
     
  8. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,521
    Ireland
    My husband wouldn't go to day care either, so like Grannie G, I got someone in "to help" - in our case it was a man I hired privately, to "help with the garden", because William loved the garden. He didn't want anyone in either, but accepted the help with the heavy work - and as a bonus the guy I got was a keen chess player, as was William (although by then he couldn't quite manage the proper rules, so they made it up as they went along!) - to they would garden, play chess and sometimes the guy would pick a book, read a bit to himself and then say something like "Hey William, listen to this!" and proceed to read to William for a bit!:)
     

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