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Refuses Day Care.

Mossyanne1

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
45
My husband is now getting very angry when the day care team come for him and is refusing to go. I don't really know how to cope with this as I have M.E. And can't deal with him every day. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.


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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,668
Kent
My husband refused to go too so I got Direct Payments.

This enabled me to get agency carers in.

The agency was excellent. They accepted my husband didn`t want anyone in the house on his behalf but they agreed to say they were coming to help me. Help me they did , by doing my housework while at the same time keeping my husband safe while I went `shopping` .

Gradually they gained his confidence and he was happy being left with them.

If you have ME, Mossyanne, I`m sure this type of arrangement would help you.
 

Mossyanne1

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
45
Hi Chug galah, my OH is going next week to respite but at the moment he is just refusing the day care. Honestly - I am at sixes and sevens about everything at the moment, problem being I'm like his comfort blanket, he shadows me everywhere.


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Mossyanne1

Registered User
Feb 10, 2015
45
Hi Grannies G, thank you so much, your message has made me feel more positive. Your suggestion for home care may be the answer to my problem. I will get in touch with my SW and try and arrange it. I really cannot cope with his refusals to go to day care. They are so kind and do everything they can to get him on the mini bus, it's not fair on them to have to struggle with him. There's no reasoning with this awful illness. Much love...xxx


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Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Hi Chug galah, my OH is going next week to respite but at the moment he is just refusing the day care. Honestly - I am at sixes and sevens about everything at the moment, problem being I'm like his comfort blanket, he shadows me everywhere.


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We never experienced day care here. That might have happened, but other things got in the way. I so feel for you because of your own ill health. It must be so hard. Best wishes for the respite. That will help, I know.
 

pamann

Registered User
Oct 28, 2013
2,635
Kent
Hello mosseyanne1 how l wish l knew how l could get my hubby to go to day care, he refuses to go, they tell me anything my hubby doesn't want to do he won't do, but that doesn't help us !!!! If you come up with an answer let me know,
 

LadyA

Registered User
Oct 19, 2009
13,563
Ireland
My husband wouldn't go to day care either, so like Grannie G, I got someone in "to help" - in our case it was a man I hired privately, to "help with the garden", because William loved the garden. He didn't want anyone in either, but accepted the help with the heavy work - and as a bonus the guy I got was a keen chess player, as was William (although by then he couldn't quite manage the proper rules, so they made it up as they went along!) - to they would garden, play chess and sometimes the guy would pick a book, read a bit to himself and then say something like "Hey William, listen to this!" and proceed to read to William for a bit!:)