Hello fellow carers. I am having big issues with my relative Harry who is 92 and suffering from early stage dementia. Harry is housebound now and has carers come in 4 times daily to see to his needs as he is unable to cook or take care of his personal hygiene. I have POA for his property and financial affairs and have been trying to sort out his myriad of different accounts, ISA's, Bonds and goodness knows what else which over the past few years have just been left sitting gathering dust in various accounts (most of which he's forgotten he had) This has been very frustrating as the financial institutions involved do not seem to know what the right hand is doing and I've lost count of the wasted appointments, duplicate letters, forms not sent off, wrong names passed on...oh the list is endless. Anyway, the real issue I have is that Harry is VERY suspicious of anything he now receives in the post concerning his money and is insisting that his sister (who has been dead for almost 9 years) has stolen his post office and other bank cards and is systematically emptying his accounts of his life savings. Every time he gets a bank statement through or a letter concerning his ISA's or savings accounts he goes through it with a fine toothed comb pointing out the withdrawals for things like his shopping, direct debits, things he needs ordered online etc he denies having received despite the cupboard being full of food (which he claims he went out and got himself) and his bills being paid (says he doesn't have any direct debits and always pays on receipt of bill) He then gets all agitated and says he is going to call the police and that his money is being stolen. I have tried to tell the banks and post office etc not to send him any statements and just to send them to me instead (I do online banking for him) and they agree, but then the next thing I know he's ringing me up saying he's just had a letter telling him his ISA has been reinvested, and he as sure as hell didn't authorise that, and anyway what even is an ISA? I try to explain about the POA and that someone (me) has to be responsible for his finances as he can no longer manage them but he then goes off on one and says he just knows his sister is stealing from him and what am I going to do about it because if I don't do something he's going to the police! I'm at my wits end, it is making me ill to be honest and I wish to God I had never taken on this damn POA business because it's been nothing but a headache from day one. His carer today suggested having his mail redirected to me so that he doesn't have the letters to fixate on, so I looked online but it appears that the post office will only redirect mail if you are moving, it's very expensive, and then they will write you a letter and phone you at your old address first to confirm that you are legitimate (I'm guessing to prevent fraud) Well, I can just imagine Harry's reaction to being told he has requested that his mail be redirected! He will insist that his sister is up to no good again and deny that he ordered it, which of course he didn't! And I hate all this sneaking around and trying to do things behind his back when by rights I should just be able to say to him "Don't be so bloody stupid, Ellen has been dead for 9 years now so how can she be stealing your money?" I've tried telling him that she passed away many years ago on numerous occasions but he insists she's still alive and "fleecing" him as he puts it. Does anyone have any suggestions at all as to what I can do because I don't know how much longer I can cope with this to be honest. Sometimes he will call me 20 times or more a day and leave messages on my phone requesting a call back, and sometimes he rings up in the middle of the night or early hours of the morning saying the same. I'm sure if he didn't get mail he wouldn't bother because sometimes he doesn't get letters for a few weeks, he forgets all about the banks and all is peaceful - then a statement will come through and set him off again... I just don't know what to do for the best. So sorry for the long post, but I've just got home after spending the day with him and I'm about to blow a gasket - already I can hear the phone ringing downstairs and I just know what it's going to be because we were discussing his finances today and he was very wound up..