If anyone has personal recommendations of care homes in the South Bucks/East Berkshire area, could you please let me know?
CQC reports are useful, but a personal recommendation would be great
Many thanks
Look for a home which allows open visiting and which isn't all about appearance. Many homes are built like hotels nowadays with no character or soul. Clearly I'm very unimpressed with corporate chains - so many are all for show and have a terrible time finding and maintaining staff who are too busy to do more than pay lip-service towards personalisation of care. Of course they are not all like that, and some people might enjoy feeling as though they are living in a hotel. But I'd consider small, family-run homes or county council run ones. Look for low staff-turnover.
Good homes allow a person to remain in their room if they prefer to. They also allow people to get up when they choose to (all too often the night staff are getting residents up ready for the day shift - this is totally unacceptable unless the resident actively chooses this.) Ensuites are all very lovely, but are really not essential and many smaller homes which are worth considering may not have these facilities. Even sharing a room is not a dreadful option, obviously depending on circumstances. It can be comforting actually.
You can rule out many simply with a phone call. Have a check list of what's really important to you and ask questions over the phone before you even consider visiting.
Make many unannounced visits to care homes, more than one visit to those on your short list and make sure you see the area where people with dementia are living. Have a quiet word with any relatives you see leaving. Ask everyone you know about any homes they know about, but pay particular attention to current or very recent recommendations, because things change.
Consider your needs too...travelling even just a few miles can become a real burden as well as an expense. It can become just as tiring as caring full-time was. Of course the caring continues, but in a different way. Proximity has a lot going for it if you want to visit frequently and means you'll really know what's going on there.
It's daunting; take a friend...you'll each notice different things. Observe how the staff speak to and treat the other residents, particularly if they don't realise thy are being watched. Go for a cup of tea and a biscuit there with the person and see how they are treated. It's also about how well you feel you can get on with the manager...will they accept your input warmly, or as a bit of a nuisance? Befriending the staff can be key to success!
No home is perfect, so choose what matters most. It's about care more than appearance.
Good luck.
