My 67 year old mum has had memory issues for a number of years. More recently confusion has become an issue and now verbal aggression towards my dad. She was finally diagnosed with Alzheimers 2 weeks ago and has been started on Donepezil. In January she started having episodes where she thought dad was a stranger trying to steal from her. This has now progressed and she is aggressive to him most of the time. She accuses him of all sorts, tells him she's wasted her life with him and gets so nasty that he has to leave the house. She then phones me or my sister to tell us how evil he is. How do I support my dad?. How can they continue living like this? I feel so helpless. My dad has his own health issues having been diagnosed with leukemia 3 years ago.
Recently diagnosed and aggressive behaviour
- Thread starter Cathyt75
- Start date
Hi just joined so please bear with me if I say something out of place !! My wife was diagnosed With "Frontal Lobe Dementia" recently she is 72 years Young .... was prescribed Donepezil 5mg she has also become verbally aggressive towards myself incessantly. She is very confused & quite Disorientated. Obviously being with her 24/7 I have become her "Aggressive Punch Bag" not literally of course just the person to take all of her FRUSTRATIONS - Her Kick Bag. Socially with friends & Family, Butter wouldn't Melt !! She tries to hide her Dementia putting it down to Age & forgetfulness. Of course its "Your so Grumpy, No Smile, you"ve changed your Not Nice anymore all my Friends say it to I can"t remember when she saw one its been weeks !!! The New one is "I'm going to record You" ...... I have health issues I am 4 years younger than Her my Heart, Osteoarthritis, Mobility etc,
Welcome to DTP @CardiffRay68
The being ok in social situations is called Hostess mode & is very common.
Welcome to DTP @CardiffRay68,
Sadly you are going to get the aggression and all the nastiness that comes with it. I did, our children saw a different Dad, but it was a quieter, less energetic man not the quarrelsome, angry man I saw.
I always thought because I was the constant in his life he felt safe to discharge all his frustrations that the disease was causing him. He knew I was going nowhere. Even so it’s very distressing to have to be there day after day taking it all on the chin especially when you have health issues if your own.
Take care and use the forum to help you. Come here to rant away if you need to, everyone understands how it is and sometimes just an understanding response or a kind word can help.
Sadly you are going to get the aggression and all the nastiness that comes with it. I did, our children saw a different Dad, but it was a quieter, less energetic man not the quarrelsome, angry man I saw.
I always thought because I was the constant in his life he felt safe to discharge all his frustrations that the disease was causing him. He knew I was going nowhere. Even so it’s very distressing to have to be there day after day taking it all on the chin especially when you have health issues if your own.
Take care and use the forum to help you. Come here to rant away if you need to, everyone understands how it is and sometimes just an understanding response or a kind word can help.
Welcome from me too @CardiffRay68
I notice that your wife has just been prescribed Donepezil. Did her aggression towards you get worse after it was started? I found that my dad who was ok on 5mg became very aggressive when his dosage was increased to 10mg he became very nasty towards one person in particular.
His behaviour improved when the dosage was decreased. It may not suit your wife at all. Have a talk to her doctor if you think this may be the case.
I notice that your wife has just been prescribed Donepezil. Did her aggression towards you get worse after it was started? I found that my dad who was ok on 5mg became very aggressive when his dosage was increased to 10mg he became very nasty towards one person in particular.
His behaviour improved when the dosage was decreased. It may not suit your wife at all. Have a talk to her doctor if you think this may be the case.
Hi. This sounds very familiar! Similar thing happened to us. We were spending so much time with mum and dad because mum didn't know dad anymore and had pretty much decided she didn't like him. We were completely honest about the symptoms with the Consultant, even though its hard to say things in front of your loved one and fortunately for us the medication has changed the situation completely. She's on donepezil as well as as resiridone (only a low dose). Mum had been packing her bags, was anxious all the time and really to the point of psychotic symptoms. Now she is a different person. Calm and happy and actually likes dad again. She isn't 'doped up' at all. Try and have a discussion with the consultant. We were honestly at crisis point because we didn't know how mum could stay at home feeling how she was. And also poor dad just couldn't cope. They are a similar age to your mum and dad by the way. It's a different situation altogether now and in a really short space of time. Good luck x
I had the same experience with my husband and with the dementia drugs as @Bunpoots did with her dad.
Some people are able to persevere with the drugs and find eventually the side effects reduce. I was unable to do this, the side effects were unbearable
Ism not diagnosing your wife’s aggressive behaviour but I do advise you to take medical advice @CardiffRay68. Just in case
Some people are able to persevere with the drugs and find eventually the side effects reduce. I was unable to do this, the side effects were unbearable
Ism not diagnosing your wife’s aggressive behaviour but I do advise you to take medical advice @CardiffRay68. Just in case
Is your mum known to the mental health team? if she is then contact them, if she isn't ask your gp for a referral, they will be able to look at medication dosages or alternative. They will be able to prescribe something for anxiety but also give you advise on behaviour, looking at the triggers and what you can put into place to help her and your dad.