Hi Jaquie and welcome. You sound like you need a hug and some support which you will get from here.
My mil was diagnosed aged 56 just before Christmas. My husband and his brother really struggled with it all.
I think the fact you are left hanging with a diagnosis and no where to go is the norm.
We were the same and I set out on a mission to help my mil have fun.
Firstly I have a rule if she says she always wanted to do something I try and make it happen.
- bounce on a bouncing castle like a kid
- be in a film ( she was an extra in a film)
- have afternoon tea in a really nice place
- see a show
- see her family in Italy
Loads of things and while this might not be your bag I guess what I'm saying is live for now and enjoy your life it doesn't have to be miserable because you have dementia.
Her sons think I'm mad but happy to indulge us or fund us doing this stuff.
I have good friend aged 38 who has terminal cancer and see if doing the same thing. I honestly think it has kept her living longer.