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Recent diagnosis

tss502

Registered User
Oct 20, 2014
110
0
Hi,

My husband has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers at the age of 55. He is devastated and I feel at the moment that he is pushing away all the support that potentially is available to him. We went to see the Alzheimers society but during the meeting he kept saying that he felt fine and didn't need any support. But then I find him in floods of tears at home saying that he has lost everything and it's impossible to offer him any sort of consolation. The consultant wants to start him on Aricept as soon as possible but my husband was resistant to this, saying that he doesn't believe in taking pills. How can I help him come to terms with the diagnosis when he won't accept any help and refuses to talk about the future. Should I just wait for the initial grief, anger and denial to pass?

Also how can I help him continue to live an independent life for as long as he can? He loves cycling and wants to go out alone when I am at work, but is struggling a bit with map reading and finding directions. Are there tools which would help him with this?
 

starryuk

Registered User
Nov 8, 2012
1,323
0
I am sorry to hear about your husband.

My mum was never put on Aricept, But it has been very helpful for my friend's dad, who was diagnosed about 4 years ago. He attends the memory clinic every so often and last time his score improved by several points! That may have been 'luck', but of course we can't tell.

Think you should strongly encourage your husband to give it a try. Especially as he is still in the early stages.

best wishes
 

Trixxie

Registered User
Oct 3, 2014
51
0
Midsomer Norton near Bath
Hello,
my hubby at just 54 has just had a diagnosis of Alzheimer's a month ago today (Thursday). We've been married 32 years. It's really hard for you both to get your heads around it, and yes there will be shock, denial, and fright about the future. I joined this TP group straight after diagnosis and found it so much help. You will get so much information here, I did! One little thing I've learned in just one month is to think about today/tomorrow and the end of the week. Don't think about the future to much just enjoy one another at this time. I found I love my hubby deeper than ever before. Let your husband come to terms with what's happened and encourage him to talk about it a little at a time, that's what I did. My hubby takes Aricept and it's just been increased to 10mg.
Stay strong and we're all here for you.
Trixxie xxx


Hubby just diagnosed with EOAD :(
 

tss502

Registered User
Oct 20, 2014
110
0
Thanks both for this; he's now agreed to start on the Aricept and I've just had a call to say that the prescription is ready for him. I hope this will start to be of some help.
 

Catherine57

Registered User
Nov 18, 2014
15
0
Evesham
Recently Diagnosed with C,V,D & A.D mix

Hi Everyone,
I am 57 and about a month ago was finally diagnosed with mixed dementia. I was and probably still am, a little in denial and and little bewildered by it all. I just find it so hard to accept that I am relatively young and always understood it was an aging process and that is why I think it would be easier to accept if I was in my 70s or something? I know I have had problems with my memory and fully accept I have some serious issues going on for some time, so why do I find it so hard to accept, I Have Dementia?:confused: My husband has found it shattering news and has been quite tearful and emotional at times, which I find hard? he is such a strong person generally, and my children are a bit in denial?. I used to look forward to old age and just pottering about the garden, doing a bit more traveling, breeding my beautiful dogs and generally a happy little bunny, ready for for a long awaited quality of life time? I have worked all my life from a very early age and loved working. Its a real spanner in the works now'I feel'. so many questions? uncertain about my future and am not looking forward to the road ahead anymore. Have been given Donepzil and of course lots of very helpful advice on well being and life style which I will improve on of course! I feel so afraid of medication? as I have never been a fan of anything other then antibiotics when absolutely necessary and now I find that the side effects of this prescribed medication, 'MIGHT' slow my heart rate down, which completely terrifies me? am and will seek all the support and advice I can get, but would just love to talk to someone who can understand what I feel? Have always been fiercely independent and anti medication ect. Well sorry if I have gone on a bit too much, but had to share! Big hugs to all on here x
Catherine:)
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,413
0
Scotland
Catherine, I wish you many happy and healthy years. At any age any one of us can be told of a life changing health issue and this is your moment. It is not easy. It is also not necessarily a catastrophe as others on TP who have the illness will tell you. Being involved, being positive, trying to keep physically healthy through good diet and outdoors interests will all help. Having a loving family which you seem to have will also help you. Take every bit of help you can whenever it is offered and discard what you don't need. There is no loss of face from having an illness it is entirely human.

Good luck.
 

Catherine57

Registered User
Nov 18, 2014
15
0
Evesham
Thank you Jay xxx

Just wanted to say Thank you for your reply xxx. I suppose I am just being a bit silly really? I realize I am lucky to have been diagnosed at an early stage, rather then when it got much further along the line? am going to discuss my fear of medication with my G.P on Wednesday, so am just going to get on with it.:D
Catherine xxx
 

Ay67

New member
Apr 29, 2021
3
0
Hello, my mum is 78 and has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Her recent Addenbrookes test gave her a score of 60 out of 100. We are all very distressed but not surprised as her memory has been declining over the past year. She is struggling to accept the diagnosis and does not really want people to know. I have so many questions and fears as to how this is all going to pan out but I know that we all need time to absorb the news. My main fear is how fast she may decline but I know there is no way to answer that.
 

ganymede

Registered User
Apr 28, 2021
56
0
Hello, my mum is 78 and has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Her recent Addenbrookes test gave her a score of 60 out of 100. We are all very distressed but not surprised as her memory has been declining over the past year. She is struggling to accept the diagnosis and does not really want people to know. I have so many questions and fears as to how this is all going to pan out but I know that we all need time to absorb the news. My main fear is how fast she may decline but I know there is no way to answer that.
Hello Ay67, we are in a similar boat. My mum is 76 and we just got her diagnosis last week. Like your mum, she doesn't want to hear the word or for anyone else to know. I don't have any answers but just wanted to reach out. I am already finding so many of the threads and answers on the forum helpful and I hope you will find it supportive whatever the next weeks, months and years have in store.
 

Ay67

New member
Apr 29, 2021
3
0
Thank you so much, I am sorry to hear of your mum’s diagnosis. It is a cruel and frightening disease. I am going to have a good look around the site and hope to find some comfort and helpful advice. It does help to reach out so many thanks.
 

ganymede

Registered User
Apr 28, 2021
56
0
Thank you so much, I am sorry to hear of your mum’s diagnosis. It is a cruel and frightening disease. I am going to have a good look around the site and hope to find some comfort and helpful advice. It does help to reach out so many thanks.
Thanks, and I'm sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis too. Look after yourself.
 

Wrendy

New member
Feb 5, 2021
3
0
Leeds
Had this problem with my OH. Didn’t want to use the words Alzheimer’s or Dementia. Got round it by telling everyone he had had a TIA (which he had) and that it had left him with short term memory loss and mild confusion. Everyone has accepted that and he now feels happier with his self diagnosis which is not too far from the truth. As a family we are adopting a calm non confrontational approach to his condition and ,for us, it seems to be working. We never contradict him let him eat whatever he fancies and agree with all the tales he tells. Makes life easier all round and far less stressful.
 

Ay67

New member
Apr 29, 2021
3
0
Had this problem with my OH. Didn’t want to use the words Alzheimer’s or Dementia. Got round it by telling everyone he had had a TIA (which he had) and that it had left him with short term memory loss and mild confusion. Everyone has accepted that and he now feels happier with his self diagnosis which is not too far from the truth. As a family we are adopting a calm non confrontational approach to his condition and ,for us, it seems to be working. We never contradict him let him eat whatever he fancies and agree with all the tales he tells. Makes life easier all round and far less stressful.
Hello Wrendy, I think that’s the best approach as well. I try to be as supportive as possible and don’t contradict my mum when she gets confused or muddled, which happens often. My dad finds it harder and can get frustrated but he is finding her condition very hard to accept and deal with. He doesn’t want to talk about it or make any plans for how to manage her condition. Unfortunately he’s always taken the ostrich approach, if you don’t talk/face things, they don’t exist. This can be very difficult especially as my mum can’t really discuss/show how she feels as she doesn’t want to upset him. It certainly is a very challenging environment in which to face such a diagnosis .
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
6,264
0
Southampton
my husband has vascular dementia and was diagnosed a year ago now in the middle of lock down. he knows his diagnosis but we dont discuss it in any particular depth. he knows im here if he wants to talk but im guided by him and what he wants to say. its not being an ostrich but i cant see the point of labouring the point. it wouldnt change the diagnosis or improve the situation so i just get on with it to an extent and live in the present. i dont look to the future as i dont know what it holds and i might dread and worry about something that might never happen