Recent diagnosis for vascular dementia, looking for advice

[Ingres]

Hi everyone,

Hello, I'm new here and hoping to search out some advice on how best we can help my Mum with this condition.

The Memory Clinic recently confirmed that Mum has mild vascular dementia, we knew something major was up but still it really shocks when confirmed, they say there is no medication to help her or support groups for this stage, though they do send a nurse once a week to help with medication for depression.

We don't think she has suffered any strokes but can't be sure, she has had a few hallucinations that we know of though, suffers extremely bad short term memory and constantly repeats herself. She is still good company but conversation is goes round in the same cycles, over and over.

She is very lonely on a day to day basis, since my Dad died and I guess we put it down the initial symptoms to grief really. My brother is local, I am long distance but I ring every day and visit as often as possible.

The nurse is telling us to sort out Power of Attorney asap but has also told us that they will not be telling her of her condition as they deem it detrimental to her.
I don't understand this, she has had a scan so will be looking for her results. What will they tell her?
The nurse has offered to be present when my brother and I speak to her about Power of Attorney, but how can we approach it without disclosing her condition?

I am especially concerned as she speaks to me about being locked away, which I tell her is not what happens these days. I am visiting next week with the intention being to broach this - do you have any advice?

Thanks for reading this so far, I do appreciate it. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Sorry for such a long post!

Thanks,

Ingres

 

[Butter]

Welcome to TP Ingres and I am sorry to learn about your mum.

As far as the LPA (Lasting Power of Attorney) is concerned that should be no big deal. We all should make them when we make our wills. So I suggest you all decide to make them and then she can join in. Her condition does not need to be part of that any more than yours does.


The medication can only be the medication that keeps our blood flowing: heart medication, blood pressure medication and blood thinning too. We were advised that exercise and diet are part of this.

Her loneliness and fear must be really difficult. Comfort and reassurance? Every kind you can think of. It is so difficult and sad for everybody.

But on the other hand, my husband has had many years of over-active life despite his health. So enjoy the moment and don't worry too much about the future.

 

[Ingres]

Thanks for your kind message Butter and for reading my long post too!

I guess I am concerned she will think it is a step towards being 'locked up' especially as the discussion will need to take place when I visit, I would like to share responsibility with my brother as though he is local to her it seems only fair to do this.

Her decline has been rapid, and she alludes to her condition in some ways but gets very defensive in other ways and insists she is coping, and nothing is wrong.
She told my brother the doctor rang to say she is fine and no need to worry, when he investigated this call had never taken place.

It just feels such a sensitive issue, I would hate to lose her trust at this early stage, seems we still have long way to go.

Thanks.