RECEIVING CARDS AFTER MUM'S DEATH

[Roman223]

Hi everyone, I'm writing this because today has been an extremely difficult & emotional day .... Like some of you have said in posts grief comes in waves and that is certainly true. On Saturday I received my first condolence card from the CH where mum was. I looked at the post and thought strange it's not my birthday, then it suddenly clicked what it was. After taking a deep breath I opened it. I must admit I cried and cried for hours and stared out of the window feeling numb & empty. Still not quite believing that mum is no longer here. Since mum's death I'm finding that the tears are more intense and deeper and my eyes ache. Some days are really heartbreaking and extremely difficult to do even the simple tasks/facing people or the outside world

Today I told my mum's best friend who she had worked with for over 30 years. (It's taken me a week to break the news). I couldn't face ringing her, so broke the news by text. I apologised & I hope she understood... Last night I had so many vivid dreams, one of mum & the coffin. This grieving is too much. Thank you for reading. ?x

 

[Libbybookworm]

Hi everyone, I'm writing this because today has been an extremely difficult & emotional day .... Like some of you have said in posts grief comes in waves and that is certainly true. On Saturday I received my first condolence card from the CH where mum was. I looked at the post and thought strange it's not my birthday, then it suddenly clicked what it was. After taking a deep breath I opened it. I must admit I cried and cried for hours and stared out of the window feeling numb & empty. Still not quite believing that mum is no longer here. Since mum's death I'm finding that the tears are more intense and deeper and my eyes ache. Some days are really heartbreaking and extremely difficult to do even the simple tasks/facing people or the outside world

Today I told my mum's best friend who she had worked with for over 30 years. (It's taken me a week to break the news). I couldn't face ringing her, so broke the news by text. I apologised & I hope she understood... Last night I had so many vivid dreams, one of mum & the coffin. This grieving is too much. Thank you for reading. ?x

Dear @Roman223 I can't say anything that will make things more bearable for you, but just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending a virtual hug xx

 

[Grannie G]

Just allow it to be @Roman223 it will help you in the long run.

What you are feeling may be unbearable but it`s perfectly normal It`s what grief is

It`s really hard to face people The cards you will receive are because people want you to know how upset they are for you.

Live with your feelings. You have lost your mum. How else could you feel.

 

[canary]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) @Roman223

Its all so raw at the moment.
If you want to cry, then cry
If you dont want to read cards, then put them away until you can face them.
I got sent lots of emails when mum died and I created a folder in my emails and put them all in there.
xx

 

[Jessbow]

Hang on in there, its a very difficult time.You'll feel all sorts of emotions over the coming days weeks and months.

When my mother passed away, I remember being really angry with my late brother- he should hve been the one sorting out my mums affairs- he was the eldest after all. He passed way in 1998- didnt stop me being ( irrationally) angry with him.

Be kind to yourself xx

 

[Pork Pie lady]

Slightly different, when we lost my stepdaughter I found the cards did upset me but I found I needed that time each day looking at cards, crying and feeling it in all it's horror. It helped the reality to sink in and in the long run helped me to process it in a much better way than pushing all those bad feelings aside to rear their ugly heads months or years later.

Give yourself the permission, time and space to do whatever you need for your wellbeing. It won't feel like it now, it will be a long time coming but eventually you will notice that the pain, tears and all the other bad stuff seem to be getting less intense and more manageable.

Sending hugs

 

[imthedaughter]

Grief is weird but I think we just have to let it be so - crying is good even if it does make your eyes hurt and suppressing it won't work, so go ahead.
When my nan died in September I stopped doing my skincare routine and taking vitamins - both of which I usually do daily - and frankly I just didn't care if I got up, or ate, or stayed alive really. I wanted to die myself at times which sounds dramatic but if you could swap with someone I would have done it. But I wouldn't have felt that way if i didn't love her.
In a few months I was able to make plans for the future but I still get sad /angry about it. As they say, you grow around the grief rather than it actually going away and it seems less catastrophic in time. Just got to take it day by day and do what you feel you can.