Reassurance please - Mums changed care homes!

[Roseylee]

Hi, haven't written for a while as we've been trying to find Mum a place in a nice home. She was in hospital for 6 weeks up until last week but under a different LA. We wanted to find her a place nearer to me or my sister, and we found a lovely nursing home in Kent near my sister that had a space and was prepared to take her. Lots of bureaucracy later, and one LA spoke to the other, and the move was agreed. We didn't want her to go home and then to a care home (been there, done that, got the t-shirt, carers useles etc and care at home hasn't worked). We got asked to pay for the private ambulance the night before her transfer by the hospital (we refused) and they sent her to Kent anyway, but without her meds! Luckily the very understanding care home manager managed to get the new GP to sort that quickly. So she has been there a week, still weighing just under 6 stone, but has settled well. She is still stuck in an endless repetitious loop of about 2 stories, seems to think the nursing home is her old house, but seems happy enough. HOWEVER, she has started to wander at night and she's only been there a week. During that time she has fallen in the doorway of her room in the middle of the night, (think she had sussed out the pressure mat by her bed that notifies staff she is on the move), she has made her way to the main lounge in the middle of the night to get herself a drink, she goes into the kitchen to ask if she can help the chef, and attempted to help another poor old lady out of a chair which is funny as Mum is so tiny, but she could actually have broker her own hip in doing so! Bless her, she has never wanted to get old, won't use a walking frame and is trying her best to act 'normal' with a disease that physically won't let her anymore. So, because the existing home is more nursing care, and a lot of patients are bed ridden, they have suggested moving her to another home nearby which is more specific to dementia patients. The patients at the new home are more 'mobile' like Mum and so she should feel more at home and there are alarms all over the place which'll be safer for Mum. We have been to see it and it seems nice, but today, on the day of transfer Mum is very reluctant to go as she likes it where she is!! I feel so awful that she is on the move again, but guess as she's been institutionalised in hospital since November and only in this home a week, we should be ok? Has anyone else had this problem? Do they settle eventually? Feel so awful but Mums safety has to come first. We are holding off visiting for a week as we think thats best but even that seems so cruel. Such a shame we have had to move her again.

 

[Witzend]

Sorry you have all this worry, but just to say that we had to move an aunt with pretty bad dementia, since she was starting to bother the non dementia residents. She had been there over 2 years and we were very worried about the move, but she settled amazingly quickly. If you mum settled quickly at the current place, then fingers crossed it'll be the same again.

Wandering at night should not be seen as a problem at a home for dementia, since it is pretty common. Of course there is an increased risk of falls - my mother has fallen several times while wandering at night- but if someone is still mobile and has a 'need' to walk, there is not an awful lot you can do about it. My mother also had a walking frame but could never remember to use it - someone would have to be there to put it right in front of her - not always possible.

I do hope the move goes well.

 

[Roseylee]

Sorry you have all this worry, but just to say that we had to move an aunt with pretty bad dementia, since she was starting to bother the non dementia residents. She had been there over 2 years and we were very worried about the move, but she settled amazingly quickly. If you mum settled quickly at the current place, then fingers crossed it'll be the same again.

Wandering at night should not be seen as a problem at a home for dementia, since it is pretty common. Of course there is an increased risk of falls - my mother has fallen several times while wandering at night- but if someone is still mobile and has a 'need' to walk, there is not an awful lot you can do about it. My mother also had a walking frame but could never remember to use it - someone would have to be there to put it right in front of her - not always possible.

I do hope the move goes well.

Thanks so much for your reassurance. I think you are right, the care home took cAre of the move, and this evening we have been told that she has settled quickly, and offering to help other residents! This disease (I am fast learning) follows no logical path. I agree, she needs to be among similar people and long term this is definitely the best.n thanks again.,