Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted. Some may know I lost my dad on 6th June. My mum is the one with alzheimers and I feel like I am now losing her too.
I have three children who have been off school for the summer holidays, during which time we had a holiday abroad and had to get in a full time career, to look after mum. Mum has been going to a day centre three days a week which she seems to enjoy. They have taken her to town, go to an animal park, baked cakes etc and the staff are lovely. She does however sometimes not want to go (probably because its the full time carer telling her to go). The lady looking after her is very nice however has a very strong personality compared to mum, and mum feels like she is taking over her life.
To cut a long story short, the day centre was set up, by the social worker with a view to respite, and then permanent care. The social worker came up with the idea after myself, brother and sister were finding it difficult caring for mum and causing a lot of strain between us all.
So here's the situation now, a bed has now come up at the home she goes to for day care. I feel utterly saddened by the whole thing, my brother and sister also feel the same to varying degrees. To me I feel like after losing my dad I am now losing my mum, no more going to visit the family home with my children, gone. End of. Years of my life wiped out so quickly. End of an era. That just about sums it up. I feel I'm letting mum down, I wish I could sit down and explain why it needs to be. I don't want it , and neither with my mum but I feel there is no choice. Mum isn't happy with her life any more she hates the fact she has a woman come into her house taking over , and who can blame her? The choices are a full time carer , a home, or family bickering over who is doing what and when coupled with many lonely hours by herself when we can't be there.
I needed to get this out of my system, so thanks for listening and any advice would be greatfully received as I can't stop crying I love my mum so much.
Anne
I have three children who have been off school for the summer holidays, during which time we had a holiday abroad and had to get in a full time career, to look after mum. Mum has been going to a day centre three days a week which she seems to enjoy. They have taken her to town, go to an animal park, baked cakes etc and the staff are lovely. She does however sometimes not want to go (probably because its the full time carer telling her to go). The lady looking after her is very nice however has a very strong personality compared to mum, and mum feels like she is taking over her life.
To cut a long story short, the day centre was set up, by the social worker with a view to respite, and then permanent care. The social worker came up with the idea after myself, brother and sister were finding it difficult caring for mum and causing a lot of strain between us all.
So here's the situation now, a bed has now come up at the home she goes to for day care. I feel utterly saddened by the whole thing, my brother and sister also feel the same to varying degrees. To me I feel like after losing my dad I am now losing my mum, no more going to visit the family home with my children, gone. End of. Years of my life wiped out so quickly. End of an era. That just about sums it up. I feel I'm letting mum down, I wish I could sit down and explain why it needs to be. I don't want it , and neither with my mum but I feel there is no choice. Mum isn't happy with her life any more she hates the fact she has a woman come into her house taking over , and who can blame her? The choices are a full time carer , a home, or family bickering over who is doing what and when coupled with many lonely hours by herself when we can't be there.
I needed to get this out of my system, so thanks for listening and any advice would be greatfully received as I can't stop crying I love my mum so much.
Anne
