really bad day


Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
Well today i've been told that my husband now needs 24hr nursing care. To think that 5 months ago he flew to London for a day out. I haven't had much Social Work help at only getting 10hrs a week. The Social Worker said we will do a financil assesment now for full time nursing home care. This worries me as i know they will take half his pension and half the joint account and will leave me with not enough to pay the bills. The last thing i want is threatening letters because of the Social Work. Who haven't cared at all. iT Also it also confuses me what the NHS continuing care as i have read about it and it says that Dementia suffers should meet the criteria for it. Yet the consultant says he doesn't come under the criteria yet it was said he needs 24hr nursing care. I was told today as well he has fontal lobe dementia. They think the seizures are now under control. He isn't stable he has deterioated fast in 5 months, and more so the last 2 months.
I'm all mixed up

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
Nr Mold
Chip not able to offer help with this problem but wanted you to know I have read your post and am sending a big (((((((((((HUG)))))))))))

Linda x


Registered User
Jul 24, 2007

You poor thing, what a lot to take in all at once, of course you're mixed up.

Who says he needs 24/7 nursing care?

If it is the consultant, can he put that in writing to support your claim for NHS funding?

I don't know how the finances are worked out when a spouse needs to pay for care, but surely you won't be left with no money to live on?

Continuing care is another story, we have applied for it and been turned down twice now. Not giving up yet though!

Someone will soon be able to help, I'm sure, you aren't alone in this, we will give you all the support and suggestions we can.

Hang on in there.



Registered User
Jun 27, 2006
Dear Chip,

while the "take half" is the base line if you like, there is absolutely no reason why a LA cannot adjust that, particularly if the spouse can't pay the bills. I know you've had bad experiences with social workers, but make them prove to you WHY they can't give you more than half, rather than assuming that they won't.



Registered User
Feb 26, 2006
Hi Chip

What a stressful position you are in. Try not to get too het up about your possible financial position, wait until you have had your financial assessment it may not be as bad as you fear.

Let us know how you get on with the assessment, I am sure that someone will be able to help. Good luck.



Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
No wonder you are mixed up. I cannot really comment too much on financial things as obviously we are all in different circumstances. I have been despairing at the lack of help from SS but suddenly in the past two weeks they have taken interest in us - for no apparent reason.

I know we are likely to be means tested and would be self funding when it comes to 'care'. You are on a tricky subject when it comes to continuing care as you probably know this is an ongoing complaint with dementia sufferers. I am sure others will advise but there are probably factsheets from AS or why not ring their helpline for more help.

Whatever, I cannot believe that SS will leave a spouse unable to pay bills. If payment for the care home is necessary that will be assessed on your husbands income and assets - not on yours.

Do not depair - you will get help here with leads to other sources of information.
Take care Beckyjan


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
. Also it also confuses me what the NHS continuing care as i have read about it and it says that Dementia suffers should meet the criteria for it. Yet the consultant says he doesn't come under the criteria yet it was said he needs 24hr nursing care.
Yes it does sound confessing , I do feel for you .

Who saying he needs 24 hr nursing care ?


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Chip

I'm so sorry. It sounds as if you have a new lot of battles to fight. I really can't believe that SS will not leave you enough money to pay the bills.

Try not to worry until you have had the financial asessment. If it turns out that you are left with too little money, you should contact your MSP and the press. It should not be allowed.



Registered User
Apr 29, 2007
A lot to take in

Hello Chip

You poor thing - what a lot to take in such a short space of time! Not an expert on the financial side of things I'm afraid, but I was there at Mum's request when they had their financial assessment done for Dad's "care package".

I know that Mum found the procedure an "uncomfortable experience." The finance lady was only doing her job which I fully appreciate (I wouldn't want to do her job for all the tea in China!) but it's not nice having someone trawl through all your financial paperwork, particularly those of my parents generation (when such things are considered to be "private") and probably made worse by the fact that we are already under pressure with caring for a loved one & all that entails.

Hopefully they will send you a letter in advance advising what documents they need to see & it really does help to have all these things ready - rather than searching around for various bills & statements when you are in the middle of a potentially stressful situation.

If it helps - they did reassure Mum that the house could not be considered as one of Dad's asset as it is Mum's home too. Any of Mum's financial affairs were not relevant to the exercise (e.g any savings she may have in her own right) - but with joint bank accounts etc half was understandably considered to be Dad's.

Ahead of your assessment think about any payments which you have between you on a regular basis e.g if you have to pay anyone to help with the garden, household tasks, etc as these all count towards your joint "living expenses" - my understanding is that they have to subtract your husbands share of the "outgoings" from your husbands share of the "income" and leave him with a specific amount each week after the decuction of care costs.

Sorry I can't be more specific with amounts - but hope it may help.

Thinking of you & good luck


Gill x

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Dear Chip, I really have nothing constructive to offer, other than what`s already been said, but I`m just so sorry everything has to be such a battle for you.

I do hope the financial assessment is flexible enough to take all your needs into account, and things won`t be as bad as they seem.

Love xx


Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
Thanks all. I do feel very down and worried and also on my own . Well i suppose its like you have now lost them.
It was the consultant that said he needs 24hr nursing care. The social worker is going on 3 weeks holiday ( lucky for her) so nothing is being done to Septembe. Anyway there is a age problem as no nursing home will take him due to his age (just turned 54) was told it would be in anther area so they will have to leave me with money as i will need the car to see him.


Registered User
Aug 9, 2005
Dear Chip,

What sad news for you. And yet another battle to fight! Sending you huge sympathy and {{{BIG HUGS}}}


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Chip, just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you.

Nothing to add by way of advice, as each financial case is different, but a few years ago a friend did involve her MP when her husband had to go into care, and she successfully got the finances sorted.

Margaret W

Registered User
Apr 28, 2007
North Derbyshire
Chip and your problems

Gee buddy, I thought I had it hard! How hard for you? Please do not give up, argue your case, and if you don't feel able to do it yourself, ask a friend to help - it's amazing what some friends are able to do that you can't always get the strength to do yourself.

It doesn't sound right to me that you are in this position. I have a brilliant social worker, perhaps you should ask for a different one if you are not satisfied with the one you have been allocated.

Maybe the Citizens Advice Bureau could help, I don't know. Or contact the Alzheimers Society - I don't have the web address, but if you put it into Google I bet you will find it, and contact your local person. Mine has been brilliant. In fact, everyone I have used regarding my mother has been brilliant. Maybe I'm just lucky, but I think everyone in the entire country should be able to have the support that I have had.

For the first time in my life I have been thankful that people pay their taxes and get something out of it. Everyone should be in the same position as me. Fight for it (you shouldn't have to) but do.

Good Luck




Registered User
Jul 19, 2005
My head hurts so much today. But thanks all for you trying to help. On reading the contining care i find he DOES fit all the criterias for it. He needs supervising for safety, fed,changed, watched for myoclonic jerks and on med for seizures he also has asthma, he has deteriorated rapidly in the past 2 months, he doesn't understand what you say to him and also can only say a word or two so he can't tell you if he is in pain, he needs washed bathed, ( All said by the consultant and that he needs 24hr nursing care ) The only thing he can do is walk but he will wander and stop and face the wall not knowing what to do. He smiles at me but then will wander away from me. He has no awareness. All this in two months. Yet he doesn't qualify yet on the link about it he does. I'm going away next week so i hope it helps get this really sore head away, and i'm ready to start another battle. Will be paying CAB a visit with the printouts on continuing care.

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