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Reality bites-this is not how I thought it would be

sleepless

Registered User
Feb 19, 2010
3,223
The Sweet North
my wife is only 62 . Has lewy boady.had to go in to hospitel last week. Very pooly. Sorry im dislix so bare with .she has not eaten 4 weeks now being told its only time ,only water .and engey drinks.sshe looks at me for help .cut me up big time .i been told by the docter if her hart fails. Do i want to bring her back. I had to make the dis.... Not to has i do not want her to suff any moor.then went home to like you cry.have to go to match at this point
I am so sorry about your wife, Bill. I believe you made the kindest decision, out of love for her, and your presence when you visit will comfort her I have no doubt.
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,710
North West
That's good news tre. There's obviously more to come. Don't know if you've ever tried this but a little olive oil applied in the right place can get things moving sometimes. It certainly can't do any harm.
 

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
4,617
USA
Tre, I'm sorry I have no advice to offer, but I am so very sorry about this situation, which seems untenable for you both. I hope you are able to get through to the GP or district nurse or someone with some authority to organise some help for you, and quickly.

We are here to listen and offer support. If you get a chance, please update us when it's convenient for you.
 

bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
Hoping things are improving 5de and the flood gates have opened. It may help your husband's state of mind.
 

tre

Registered User
Sep 23, 2008
1,353
Herts
No improvement and he is mostly really drowsy although when I roused him earlier to see if he would take his meds, which he did, and some water, having hardly spoken he then quite clearly said "thank you". I spoke to the GP earlier and the doctor is coming out to see him. Not sure when but we are not going anywhere, probably most likely after morning surgery.
I have no idea where we go from here. I have put off telling his sons and his sister until the GP has been as if I call them now I will only have to call again later and they are all geographically distant so there is nothing they can do except worry.
Tre
 

bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
I hope gp can help tre but I suspect you need to be prepared for a move to hospital. If his gut isn't moving still I suspect there isn't much more you can do at home.
Please don't feel there is anything you are failing in, there are some things you just cannot overcome.
Hoping David will get back to himself once his gut empties itself.
I think it's wise to wait until gp has been before you contact family, no point in putting yourself through the stress of doing it twice.
Take care of yourself as well
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,710
North West
I think Bemused may be right tre but I do hope he doesn't end up in hospital. Surely what is required can be administered at home whilst the medical staff involved stay to monitor the situation?
 

bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
I truly hope they do Stanley but experience tells me they won't.
I really hope I am wrong and your gp and nurses are better than ours.
 

tre

Registered User
Sep 23, 2008
1,353
Herts
GP has been and pharmacy will deliver something else to try that I can give orally to try to get his bowels sorted. DN has phoned and will call in again later today. She says she has fast tracked us for a care package. GP had talked of the Rapid Response Team but that is apparently not up and running here yet.
GP also thinks he has a low grade chest infection and some oral penicillin will be delivered today.
GP is also calling in the Hospice Nurse. I asked whether this means they think he will not come out of this and she said that we will know in a few days if he is responding to the treatment. They are giving him a chance and we just need to wait to see if he responds.
Also something called a Just in Case set of meds is being sent for use if he deteriorates rapidly.
So it seems the next few days are critical.
I am still in shock at how quickly this has all happened.
I am pleased that he can be at home as he gets extremely distressed in hospital and it is calmer for him here.
Tre
 

bemused1

Registered User
Mar 4, 2012
3,402
Thankfully some good news amongst the less good tre. I really feared David would end up in hospital.things that you need are coming together and I hope things become a little easier for you.
I still hope that if his bowel can be cleared he may improve. Am hoping so .
Take care of yourself. Xxx
 

angecmc

Registered User
Dec 25, 2012
2,108
hertfordshire
Hi, I have been following your thread, didn't respond as I had no good advice to offer you, but just want to say I am pleased you are able to keep your husband home, I have experience of two of the hospitals in Herts area, with my Mum, not good experiences and we also try to keep Mum from being admitted. I hope the next prescriptions work for your husband and will be thinking of you both. I also hope you get support very quickly, you shouldn't have to deal with this on your own. Take care xx

Ange
 

marmarlade

Registered User
Jan 26, 2015
183
care homes and bowel movements sorry about the title

hubby has been in care now for several months ,at times he walks lop sided there seems to be no reason for this.visiting him the weekend he needed the toilet he was so constipated it made him cry, asked for some medication to help this,this i think was done BUT having looked up on the constipation thing it seems that it can some times effect their balance. next visit he was much better, so am going to ask for some medication to help him with the toilet,has any one else come across this
 
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tre

Registered User
Sep 23, 2008
1,353
Herts
District nurse has just been back in and failing a miracle it seems we are now on end of life care. This is all happening so fast I cannot really take it in.
Tre
 

tre

Registered User
Sep 23, 2008
1,353
Herts
Marmalade, I definitely have seen that effect in the past. David is much more poorly now so cannot stand but I think it is to do with limited effective brain power because of the dementia so anything which diverts the concentration on walking and being upright such as constipation will cause unsteadiness.
Tre
 

angelface

Registered User
Oct 8, 2011
1,085
london
Just sending you as much strength as possible

Do you take rescue remedy or anything to help you with the shock?

Please accept hospice nurses if they are offered - I found them very good in the past.

My mum even went to the local hospice day centre one day a week, they were wonderful.

My dad passed away in a hospice,but even then they did all they could to give him a fighting chance. I can well understand that you dont want a hospital, but a hospice will help both of you .