Hello,
My father has the mid stages of dementia in having very poor short term memory, forgetting he has eaten and very incontinent. He still has his long term memory and able to drive locally. My mother aged 84 looks after him as I live 150 miles away and he refuse to move from his house.
I am concerned that my mother as his carer is getting very stressed. She has to wash his clothes everyday. She has a nerve issue herself so I am concerned she is not getting help and has to buy the incontinent pants out of her modest pension. I go there each weekend but I am concerned for her own health.
The problem is my father is a proud man and puts up 'a front' of nothing wrong and they are coping infront of outsiders. He has failed 3 memory assessment but nothing is being done. Last visit to the doctor he again said everything is ok and surprisingly the doctor said until he asks for help with his incontinence she cannot refer him. Is that usual?
Please I would like any response of families that have or had similar situations and how they got around them. Bringing in strangers or getting him to see the doctor makes him get angry with us. Up to now we have had to go to the doctor with him for other ailments to discuss these too.
Many Thanks
Gary
My father has the mid stages of dementia in having very poor short term memory, forgetting he has eaten and very incontinent. He still has his long term memory and able to drive locally. My mother aged 84 looks after him as I live 150 miles away and he refuse to move from his house.
I am concerned that my mother as his carer is getting very stressed. She has to wash his clothes everyday. She has a nerve issue herself so I am concerned she is not getting help and has to buy the incontinent pants out of her modest pension. I go there each weekend but I am concerned for her own health.
The problem is my father is a proud man and puts up 'a front' of nothing wrong and they are coping infront of outsiders. He has failed 3 memory assessment but nothing is being done. Last visit to the doctor he again said everything is ok and surprisingly the doctor said until he asks for help with his incontinence she cannot refer him. Is that usual?
Please I would like any response of families that have or had similar situations and how they got around them. Bringing in strangers or getting him to see the doctor makes him get angry with us. Up to now we have had to go to the doctor with him for other ailments to discuss these too.
Many Thanks
Gary