Reaching the end of my tether

David0169

Registered User
Apr 3, 2013
14
0
It's been a while since I posted on here, my ex partner whom I still care for has settled into his new life on the boat but he's getting worse by the day, he's started messing himself often to the point where I'm now having to sleep in the same cabin as him just to make sure if he does I can clean him up and settle him again, I'm lucky if I get 4 hours sleep, he's also started hiding everyday things and lining his food up on the coffee table instead of eating it, the easiest thing would be to put in in a home but I can't do that, even tho he's driving me to distraction I want whatever time he has left to be happy.
I've contacted social services who have said they won't help so it looks like I'm on my own again, I thought they had a duty of care but apparently it doesn't seem they do - onwards and upwards as they say
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,179
0
London
Did they say on what basis they are refusing help? As a carer you are entitled to a carers assessment by law, and by law they have "duty of care for a vulnerable adult at risk". Tell them that in those precise words. You have the right to step back from caring at any time. Tell them you'll hold them personally responsible if anything happens to him as a result of their negligence. I'm afraid it's as Tara says: the door that squeaks the loudest gets oiled first. If you get too stressed with this, go to your local carers centre or AS branch and ask them to act as your advocate.
 
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marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
David when you're in this up to your neck it is hard to see a way out. This is when you need outside help and that has to come from those in the know. Getting an advocate is a good way of having someone who knows what is possible speak for you to those in command of resources.

Phone the Alz Soc and Age UK and tell them your situation and ask for help. Come back and let us know if that takes you forward.

Good wishes.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,063
0
Salford
Hi David
I've read you earlier post about selling the house and buying a boat, I have a narrowboat on the canal near Chester but I don't live on it, perhaps in the future.
What exactly is the situation, are you on a river, a canal or costal?
As has been said by law the LA have to do an assessment on you both if you request it, they don't have an option.
If you're in a marina then presumably you're paying council tax either directly or indirectly if you're a constant cruiser then you still have rights too.
Whatever the situation the LA can't ignore you, do it in writing (well by e-mail) just google the social service and e-mail them, they hate a paper trail and are happy to say things that they don't actually want to put in writing, a paper trail can be forwarded to your MP, the media so they hate putting anything down on paper.
K