Thank you all for your further posts, which are hugely appreciated.
This morning when I went in at 10.30 Brian was again very drowsy. I am assuming it is a side effect of the anti-psychotic which they started him on on Thursday evening.
I came home from the hospital to take the usual 'phone call from the Haematologist with Brian's blood results. You may recall that I handed in the form last Tuesday and have chased it up four or five times since saying that the "results appointment" was this morning. It appears that the blood test was done this morning, too ... The results are okay but not brilliant.
And then I sat down and wrote out my letter of formal complaint, one copy for PALS and another copy for the Director of Nursing at the hospital. I took them both to the PALS office at about 3 p.m. and waited while the lady there read through the letter, to find out if she needed any further information. I did indeed start off at the point where I had been asked to go in and do four hours on the trot and gave plenty of background information as well, including the prescribing of the anti-psychotic drug.
My complaint set out two points, (a) that Brian had had nothing to eat for at least eighteen and a half hours (from 5.30 on Thursday to when I left him at midday on Friday) and (b) the fact that he had been sitting in his chair for six hours and was found exhausted and collapsed forward with his head on the table in front of him.
The PALS lady said it was very clearly set out and she could not think of anything else that might be needed. She would take the letter to the Complaints Department and her colleague would hand the copy letter to the Director of Nursing tomorrow when she was meeting with him. She was extremely nice and sympathetic. She asked if she could help with anything else ....
I said there was another issue which I had not mentioned in the letter as although it had upset me, it was not related to Brian's care - and I told her all about the nurse's reaction to my touching her arm, her claim as to what had happened two days later and our quarrel on the ward.
She agreed about "not muddying the waters" as she put it. "I can SEE that you are not an aggressive person" she said. "The nurse at the very least needs more training in people skills." She also agreed that this sort of complaint about lack of care should go "right to the top" to keep the Director of Nursing "in touch".
I COULD lodge a complaint against the nurse's behaviour, I suppose, but that is not what it is all about really. In complaining about the lack of care shown to Brian, she will presumably be found to be responsible.
ALL of the nursing staff on the ward have been very polite and helpful to-day, one suggesting a "snack-pot" for Brian this evening (presumably some time before they settle him for the night) as he again missed his breakfast this morning and they want him to have three meals a day. I said I was very pleased that that suggestion had been made.
Sadly, when I got back to the hospital at 5.20 p.m., Brian was sitting there with a forked oxygen tube below his nose. One of the nurses came to explain that he had had another "episode" this afternoon, i.e. another seizure. She also went on to say that all of Brian's previous TIA's had probably been "silent seizures", in other words seizures without the tremors. Since our GP had diagnosed them as TIA's I was disinclined to agree, but in the end it makes little difference.
Having over the last month lost his ability to walk, stand, sit and remain upright, he is suddenly a lot further down the dementia road and the seizures are clearly running in parallel with these further losses.
On a happier note, he has twice to-day told me "I love you", quite out of the blue, once this morning and once this evening. It is some time since he told me (I am in tears now) and I had thought I might not hear it again. It has made to-day very very special.
My love to you all,
Nan XXX
