Dear Sue,
I have been reading back over the last few posts you have posted. This is so hard on you. I am fairly new here, so feel you won't know me, and certainly I don't want to burden you, but this is such a difficult stage. I really, really feel for you.
Food. This is an emotive issue and I know well how important it feels that a loved one has a good meal. I remember my kids as babies, if they were eating/drinking, then all was well. I am sure that Ray knows that every sip, every spoonful comes full of love and caring from you.
Rousable but unresponsive. You are managing so bravely. Really is there anything more we can do, just be there, massage, cajole, encourage, be physically present, talking calmly and lovingly. Ray is obviously very ill but your coming back again and again, wanting the absolute best for him, tending and nursing, loving and caring.... what could anyone want more? This is compassion and LOVE and we are fortunate in being able to just be there when the going is at its most discouraging. They say that people who are unconscious can hear, so with my Dad (he had had a stroke, no dementia), we talked to him, told him our most private thoughts, and even asked him questions! For the four days he was in a coma we continued to do the same. I never thought I would be able to do this, but I could, and I did. I will never regret this time: private, silent, just pure love and caring.
Of course some people rally, and others don't. This not knowing is so hard. I send you and your beloved Ray all my healing and best wishes. It is a time when time stands still. Hugs and compassion, Sue, I am with you in spirit, BE
