rapid deterioration......

[ritchie]

Just an update on my dear mam who has lung cancer as well as dementia.
She has now been in the care home for 7 weeks & was beginning to settle in as well as can be expected , however in the last week she got a uti, which she was given the wrong tablets for so is now on different antibiotics but she seems to be in constant pain & when I've visited the last few days she has been in tears with the pain & the nurses don't know if the discomfort is due to the infection or the tumour.
The staff in the home are really lovely & I know she's being looked after but I know I can't help her & feel she is slowly slipping away.... X

 

[starryuk]

oh Ritchie, I am so sorry...

 

[Eternity]

I'm sorry you mum is so unwell. I hope the nurses/doctors find some pain medication for your mum soon.

By being with her, I am sure you are helping her. She'll know you are there.


It must be such a hard time for you

x

 

[Sandie45]

I am so sorry to hear of your mums deterioration....it is very hard to witness this. X

Sent from my GT-I9100P using Talking Point mobile app

 

[jenniferpa]

ritchie - I do think that if she is in pain, whatever the cause, that needs to be dealt with. It could be the cancer, it could be the UTI, it could be something totally different but they don't need to know the cause of pain to effectively treat it but you may have to be very pushy about this. Have you informed her doctor of this?

 

[Sunbell]

Hello Ritchie,

So sorry your mum is having so much pain. Press the doctors for some pain relief for her as she should not be left in this position.

I know what you are going through just now as I am in the same situation with my mum and the feeling of losing your loved one is horriific.

Hope your mum finds comfort and tranquility very quickly.

Sunbell xx

 

[ritchie]

She is on medication for regular pain relief & it is being monitored but I guess I need to keep an eye on it

 

[jenniferpa]

She is on medication for regular pain relief & it is being monitored but I guess I need to keep an eye on it

The problem is, a lot of medical professionals are so stuck in the mindset that pain can be an important diagnostic tool they forget that with the elderly, diagnostics are not that important. Yes if it can tell you something and you can treat it (break your ankle? well you don't want to give so much pain meds that the person can walk on it and damage it further). But when it comes to a person like your mother, elderly, with cancer, infections and goodness knows what else to deal with (my own mother had an undiagnosed pelvic fracture for months plus awful arthritis) dealing with the pain and making the person comfortable is much more important that working out what is causing it.

But if you don't stay on their case no matter how caring they are, they may well take the default position. This is fine and probably wise for a younger healthier person, but not in this case. But you have, as I say to be pushy. Make them explain why your mother is still in pain, why they haven't prescribed more effective pain meds (concerned about addiction? Really?) and what their next step is going to be. Otherwise it could slide even with the best of intentions.

The process of prescribing pain medication is very much in the dark ages sometimes.

 

[cheryl k]

rapdi deterioration

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family

Cheryl

 

[Mamsgirl]

Hi ritchie,

So sorry to hear what your Mum's going through. Just writing to add my voice to the other posts about pain management. My feeling is that it's completely unacceptable to leave a patient in pain because their current meds are inadequate. I've been in this situation and it's something I hope never to experience again.

Recently my stepfather was in a similar state and the nurse told me they couldn't give him anything else because he'd had everything administered, as if that were an end to the matter. I remembered being told the exact same thing when I was in too much pain to think straight, and it was like a red rag to a bull When pressed, this nurse said in a "now we don't want to be a nuisance" tone, that the only other thing possible was to ring the doctor. Within the hour the call was made and my poor SF was made comfortable enough to fall into an exhausted sleep.

I don't want to burden you at this very difficult time, and my only hope is that your distress and your Mum's be eased. Do take care, Toni x

 

[nicoise]

Dear Ritchie,

I'm with the other posters here that your mum's pain must be treated adequately to relieve it completely.

Her medical problems can't be cured, but she doesn't need to suffer any pain now. If she is less responsive as a result so be it. I sometimes feel frustrated that the benchmark used is "well, this is the usual level we use" - if its not working for the individual, then its not good enough.

But I'm so sorry for you that she has deteriorated so quickly - heartbreaking times x

 

[ritchie]

Thanks so much for your support and advice at such a difficult time especially when I'm dealing with it alone, will keep you all posted X