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Quite new to all of this....

Lynne Phillips

New member
Sep 27, 2020
8
Hi everyone,
My mum who is 84 years old, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s back in November, and lives on her own.
I have 2 sisters, so between us, we care for our mum.
She can dress herself, cook and generally take care of herself, which we all encourage.
She sees ones of us everyday, to help with cleaning and keep her company with chats and tea. Both my sisters work full time, I work part time.
We have seen her deteriorate over the past 6 months, in the following ways....i telephone her daily at 10am to check she’s taken her tablets (which are placed in a daily tablet dispenser,), she tells me she’s taken them by letting me know that eg Mondays aren’t there etc.....but when I see her shortly afterwards, I check her tablets, and they are usually still there. I don’t want to upset her by pointing this out every time, so we joke about it, any suggestions to how I can ensure she takes them?

Also, I have placed notices inside her front and back doors, reminding her to lock the doors, as she usually takes a nap in the afternoon....and occasionally, myself or one of my sisters have entered the house without the doors being locked....other than change the doors to lock from the outside are there any other suggestions please? Especially for the back door, as if we have her handles changed for the previously mentioned, we are frightened she might not get back in, if the door closes whilst she’s in the garden!

Thanks in advance for any help you can give me xxx
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
38
I can't comment on the door locking, but would it just be easier for her to take the tablets when you, or one of your sisters is there? I realise this may not be ideal, as some should be taken at certain times, but better the wrong time than not at all. I'm afraid no matter how much you remind your mum, she's probably not actually going to take them.
 

Lynne Phillips

New member
Sep 27, 2020
8
I can't comment on the door locking, but would it just be easier for her to take the tablets when you, or one of your sisters is there? I realise this may not be ideal, as some should be taken at certain times, but better the wrong time than not at all. I'm afraid no matter how much you remind your mum, she's probably not actually going to take them.
Hi there,
I live 16 miles away, and work part time, so I get to see her twice in the week and once on weekends, my sisters work full time, so they get to see her in the evenings, so the 2 days in the week when I see her, her tablets are being taken, she remembers some days, but not always, and I know this will worsen in time,
My sisters and I had a meeting this weekend to discuss getting a career in during the mornings to help us with this problem. And the evening tablets can still be monitored by my sisters when either of them visit our mum then.
This has only started to happen, so like I said in my previous post, it’s all quite new.
Thank you for replying x
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,788
cornwall
Hi everyone,
My mum who is 84 years old, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s back in November, and lives on her own.
I have 2 sisters, so between us, we care for our mum.
She can dress herself, cook and generally take care of herself, which we all encourage.
She sees ones of us everyday, to help with cleaning and keep her company with chats and tea. Both my sisters work full time, I work part time.
We have seen her deteriorate over the past 6 months, in the following ways....i telephone her daily at 10am to check she’s taken her tablets (which are placed in a daily tablet dispenser,), she tells me she’s taken them by letting me know that eg Mondays aren’t there etc.....but when I see her shortly afterwards, I check her tablets, and they are usually still there. I don’t want to upset her by pointing this out every time, so we joke about it, any suggestions to how I can ensure she takes them?

Also, I have placed notices inside her front and back doors, reminding her to lock the doors, as she usually takes a nap in the afternoon....and occasionally, myself or one of my sisters have entered the house without the doors being locked....other than change the doors to lock from the outside are there any other suggestions please? Especially for the back door, as if we have her handles changed for the previously mentioned, we are frightened she might not get back in, if the door closes whilst she’s in the garden!

Thanks in advance for any help you can give me xxx
Hi. Unfortunately you cannot lock your mum in unless there is a Dols in place. Or she consents.
Your mum will forget to take tablets so could one of you not do it? Or maybe get a carer in to do this?
 

Lynne Phillips

New member
Sep 27, 2020
8
Hi. Unfortunately you cannot lock your mum in unless there is a Dols in place. Or she consents.
Your mum will forget to take tablets so could one of you not do it? Or maybe get a carer in to do this?
Yes, that’s what I think we need to do next, get a career in just for the mornings when we are all in work.
As for the locks, I don’t want to lock her in, I wanted to know if there were any suggestions to how time door can be changed? I personally have a front door that needs a key to open from the outside, and inside is a handle, that would work for my mum for the front door, but worried that if she went into the back garden, and the door blew shut, she wouldn’t get back inside, as she wouldn’t remember to take a key with her.
Didn’t know if there was anything on the market? I use a lovely builder, I could ask him, just thought I’d ask on here first? X
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,788
cornwall
Yes, that’s what I think we need to do next, get a career in just for the mornings when we are all in work.
As for the locks, I don’t want to lock her in, I wanted to know if there were any suggestions to how time door can be changed? I personally have a front door that needs a key to open from the outside, and inside is a handle, that would work for my mum for the front door, but worried that if she went into the back garden, and the door blew shut, she wouldn’t get back inside, as she wouldn’t remember to take a key with her.
Didn’t know if there was anything on the market? I use a lovely builder, I could ask him, just thought I’d ask on here first? X
Hi. Not sure on the lock situation tbh. Someone else on here might have another suggestion. Or you might have to ask your builder.😀
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
38
Yes, that’s what I think we need to do next, get a career in just for the mornings when we are all in work.
As for the locks, I don’t want to lock her in, I wanted to know if there were any suggestions to how time door can be changed? I personally have a front door that needs a key to open from the outside, and inside is a handle, that would work for my mum for the front door, but worried that if she went into the back garden, and the door blew shut, she wouldn’t get back inside, as she wouldn’t remember to take a key with her.
Didn’t know if there was anything on the market? I use a lovely builder, I could ask him, just thought I’d ask on here first? X
I assume you're concerned about someone potentially entering the house from the back door? Obviously I don't know the situation, but is it possible to increase security in the garden, so no-one can get in, then it's not so important if mum forgets to lock the door? Not ideal, I know, but simplest option for mum.
You can get door closers - the sort that you sometimes see on shop doors. I wonder if these might be adjustable to stop the door fully closing unless it has a good slam? ( I'm thinking that might solve the problem of the door potentially blowing shut and locking her out.)Your builder would probably know. Perhaps one of these with the new lock that needs a key from the outside would do the trick? Then you just have to train mum to work the new handle etc., and remember to give the door a good shove to shut it......
 

Lemondrizzle

Registered User
Aug 26, 2018
81
The last time the police brought MIL home they said she was safer locked in than wandering the streets and that it was quite a common occurrence. We locked the front door and although the back door was locked, she was able to unlock it and get into her large back garden. She did manage to make a break for it once from the back garden so security had to be upped but she remained safe after that. It was difficult but social services echoed the police thoughts and reported the situation to the fire brigade who came to the house to work out a rescue plan should it be needed. We did however then need to have an evening carer in to make sure the house was locked up at night as on one occasion when an invisible made a welfare report to the police in the middle of the night (don't ask!!!) they got into the house by simply walking in the unlocked back door (after the younger of the two officers had climbed over the gate).
 

Lynne Phillips

New member
Sep 27, 2020
8
I assume you're concerned about someone potentially entering the house from the back door? Obviously I don't know the situation, but is it possible to increase security in the garden, so no-one can get in, then it's not so important if mum forgets to lock the door? Not ideal, I know, but simplest option for mum.
You can get door closers - the sort that you sometimes see on shop doors. I wonder if these might be adjustable to stop the door fully closing unless it has a good slam? ( I'm thinking that might solve the problem of the door potentially blowing shut and locking her out.)Your builder would probably know. Perhaps one of these with the new lock that needs a key from the outside would do the trick? Then you just have to train mum to work the new handle etc., and remember to give the door a good shove to shut it......
 

Lyd

Registered User
May 27, 2019
84
If you change the locks could the neighbours have a key in case?
We never managed the tablet solution. For a while leaving it for her and then checking worked. We tried a dispenser with an alarm which was an expensive failure but think we tried it too late.
 

Susan11

Registered User
Nov 18, 2018
2,513
It might be worth checking with the Dr if it actually matters what time of day your mother takes her tablets. She might be able to take them all in the evening when one of your sisters is there.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
321
I know you have already spoken to the fire brigade, but in case anyone has missed this point, it really is important that a person in the house is able to get out in the event of fire. I suspect a PWD might be more likely to make mistakes that make fire more likely, e.g. leaving something on in a dangerous place. The occupant of a house should be able to escape without needing to search for and find keys, and keep in mind that visibility could be limited by smoke. I know this conflicts with the desire to prevent wandering and a balanced approach needs to be taken.
 

Lynne Phillips

New member
Sep 27, 2020
8
If you change the locks could the neighbours have a key in case?
We never managed the tablet solution. For a while leaving it for her and then checking worked. We tried a dispenser with an alarm which was an expensive failure but think we tried it too late.
The neighbours work during the day - I’m sure we can sort this out somewhat - thanks for responding x
 

Lynne Phillips

New member
Sep 27, 2020
8
It might be worth checking with the Dr if it actually matters what time of day your mother takes her tablets. She might be able to take them all in the evening when one of your sisters is there.
Mum needs to take her tablets in tbe morning, she also has some for the evening - thanks for responding x
 

Lynne Phillips

New member
Sep 27, 2020
8
I know you have already spoken to the fire brigade, but in case anyone has missed this point, it really is important that a person in the house is able to get out in the event of fire. I suspect a PWD might be more likely to make mistakes that make fire more likely, e.g. leaving something on in a dangerous place. The occupant of a house should be able to escape without needing to search for and find keys, and keep in mind that visibility could be limited by smoke. I know this conflicts with the desire to prevent wandering and a balanced approach needs to be taken.
I haven’t spoken to the fire brigade, and mum won’t be locked in...she just needs a door that has no handle on the outside, just one on the inside - mum isn’t wandering at the moment, I just need reassurance that if she takes a nap in the afternoon, the doors aren’t accessible by a stranger from the outside with the use of a handle. I’m sure I’ll get this sorted with my builder re new door handles, thanks for your response.