1. sad nell

    sad nell Registered User

    Jackie my trev was put on a section 3 and stayed on assesment ward 12.18 months but i have had him back home taking ebixa which has made him more managable for2 1/ 2years or so now, but i dont have young children to consider as you do, but do not be too afraid of the word section, it is just to give them power to help you both. love pam and as regarding cc will work in your favour.
     
  2. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    16,061
    Toronto, Canada
    Jackie,
    My mother was sectioned 3 times over 5 years. The first was the hardest but they were all necessary, to keep everyone around her safe.

    What is needed is to find the proper meds that will keep John on an even keel without overdoing it. This is what the hospital should be able to sort out for him. Don't lose hope, because it may take quite a while. It took 7 weeks the last time for my mum.

    I recommend that you keep track of all the meds John is on and look them up. Here is a website I have found very useful. It's an American gov't website and is quite thorough.

    http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/druginformation.html

    Take care.
     
  3. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    238
    Cheshire
    Where we are now

    John is now settled in the Dementia Unit at the local Hospital. He will remain there for the next few weeks while they carry out a through assessment. The current thinking is that he will need a Nursing rather than a Care home. But we'll see.

    I'm really not sure if he knows who I am any more. There was certainly no recognition when I mentioned the children. My only comfort is that he seems contented.

    Jackie
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,125
    Kent
    Dear Jackie

    That is so important. I suppose it is the most you can expect at this stage.
     
  5. sad nell

    sad nell Registered User

    Jackie glad john is calmer, iunderstand how painfull visiting must be for you,Try holding johns face in your hands and looking direct into his eyes ,when trev returns from respite it seems to help him reconize me.the hospital initially insisted on nursing home but have found a care home that handles trevs behaviour better so do not give up on that one, love to all your family Pam
     
  6. living in hope

    living in hope Registered User

    Dec 14, 2008
    552
    yorkshire
    Dear Jackie
    Glad John is settled at the moment, sorry he will be going into nursing/residential home, but it sounds as though there is no other option. Hope you and the children are copying ok.
    Love
    Lorraine
     
  7. Vonny

    Vonny Registered User

    Feb 3, 2009
    4,577
    Telford
    Hi Jackie,

    Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you all. It's good John is contented and I hope your children aren't too confuse by events. I'm sure you will do the best for everyone. Tough times, but at least your children are safe.

    Vonny xxx
     
  8. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    238
    Cheshire
    Quite Depressing

    John was totally out of it today. I had a meeting with his care team (Social Worker, Head Nurse and Consultant). The consultant went through all the medication he is now on to try and control the aggression and paranoia. He also said that he has now started on John on the final stage medication but he doesn't think that it will stop the deterioration.

    They feel that John will require the highest level nursing care and that because of that there is a strong likelihood that he will get a full care package, but that they can't actually guarantee it. They are going to pull all the papers together and then submit it to the panel. In the meantime they are going to send me a list of nursing homes that they consider suitable. Once I've got the list I will then have to visit them all and hopefully find the right one for John. It is all so terribly sad.
     
  9. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Jackie...

    It is terribly sad..I'm so sorry it's come to this.

    Just wanted to let you know we're here...and hoping things go smoothly during this next stage.

    Lots of love xx
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,125
    Kent
    It`s very sad Jackie and my heart goes out to you.

    It`s no consolation but it`s still good you have a strong team behind you.
     
  11. sad nell

    sad nell Registered User

    Jackie hope you manage to find somewhere you would feel ok about. how do you feel about this, have you any say or does it have to be an emi home. just go with your gut feeling, not thr brochures or smart deco, trev in respite this week and although i do miss him so dresdfully i know they love him and will do their best to make him feel calm and safe, that is all we can ask for when our men reach this stage, hope you are coping. i will never get used to it , but we have to try have a bit of a life as well. love to all your family pam
     
  12. living in hope

    living in hope Registered User

    Dec 14, 2008
    552
    yorkshire
    Hi Jackie
    Sorry Johns needing fulltime care, I agree with pam about going with your gut feeling when looking at homes. The one I picked for Brians day care was not particularly smart but the manageress was passionate about caring for dementia patients (her father has AD) and I felt confident in her, He is now there for 2wks respite after being in hospital and I think he is in the best place available. Hope the move goes smoothly and I hope you and the boys are all ok.
    Love
    Lorraine
     
  13. Sam Iam

    Sam Iam Registered User

    Sep 29, 2008
    3,151
    WEST OF THE MOON
    Jackie HUGS XXX & best wishes xx
     
  14. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    238
    Cheshire
    Nursing Home

    After a few hiccups John moved into a lovely Nursing Home on Friday. The move went very well and so far he seems really settled and contented. Hopefully the children will soon feel ready to visit him.

    We were very lucky in that he qualified for continuing care and the home accepted him eventhough what the PCT pay is less than their usual charges.

    The boys continue to thrive and are so much happier
     
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,125
    Kent
    I`m so pleased Jackie.
    Although it`s heartrending for the boys to have their father in a care home they at least will hopefully be able to heal from the Trauma of having their father living at home with them.
     
  16. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    238
    Cheshire
    Not such good news

    John only remained in the Nursing Home for 4 weeks before the violence became too much and he has been in hospital ever since. They had hoped to get the aggression under control but he is still on one2one care. On Friday it was decided that he would not be returning to the Home and I had to go and clear his room.

    Apparently the only suitable place is very expensive as it is a provate hospital. So we are back waiting for agreement from the Continuing Care people and he will remain in hospital until it is all sorted, which could take some time.
     
  17. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,429
    Jackie I am sorry.

    FIngers and toes crossed (not that it should be necessary) that you get agreement and the placement works out. This maybe a very expensive placement but I was told it costs approx £450 a day to keep someone in hospital, so I doubt it's more expensive than that.
     
  18. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    7,095
    Bolton
    I really don't know how I've missed your thread up to today!! Some of what you have written can certainly be applied to me. My husband was sectioned and in the hospital assessment ward for 9 months. I was told that he would not be able to be placed anywhere. That I couldn't accept and fought very hard for him to go into a local EMI Specialist Dementia Home where he has been for the last 18 months.

    The staff have had the odd incident of violence, smashed bedroom window, trying to throttle staff on one occasion, and I've been called a few times quite late into the night to go to the care home and try to settle him down. Luckily he does still respond to me at these times, which sadly doesn't seem to be the same with your husband.

    Between us we have managed to keep him there for which I'm eternally grateful to the staff at the care home. They have been extremely good to me and my husband.

    I do hope that you can find a specialised Home such as I found where you are happy with his care. My heart goes out to you in this terrible situation. I have been there and know the agony you are going through, God bless you, you also have chidren to bring up on your own.

    xxTinaT
     
  19. jackie1

    jackie1 Registered User

    Jun 6, 2007
    238
    Cheshire
    A further update!

    John moved last Monday into the Nursing Home that is based on the hospital site and so far it seems to be going well. They are able to provide the one 2 one care he needs when awake.

    This lucky, as although they were holding his bed on the ward, (in case it all went pearshaped!)I received a phone call on Friday evening to say that due to cost cutting the ward will be closing shortly and may not re-open!! So much for improved dementia care!!!
     
  20. shelagh

    shelagh Registered User

    Sep 28, 2009
    476
    Staffordshire
    Dear Jackie, I was in tears when I read your postings and the replies. One of the things I find hardest is the knowledge that my beloved family will be going through what you are going through at some time in the future.Not the same, but something like it. What I want to so as loudly as I can, to you and perhaps to them is that the person I am now would do anythng to save them pain and distress. The changes that are to come for me and that are happening for your dad are the illness not him, He, the person who knows and love you would want what he has always wanted. Your happiness, and safety. So do what has to be done and know for sure that the pre- illness Dad would want you to do it too,
    Shelagh (Early stages, early diagnosed)
     

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