Questions and yet no answers

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Norrms, Oct 16, 2019.

  1. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,319
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Always Questions but never any real answers....................

    Elaine asks, Whats Wrong ??
    Me: Dont know
    Elaine, How do you feel ?
    Me: Dont know, just not well
    Elaine , In what way not well ?

    Me, Can't explain it, dont feel right, feel detached, feel lost, feel like all around me is collapsing, feeling of dread and worry, feels like something bads going to happen, a little confused, sad, anxious and so frustrated .

    Elaine, WHY ?

    Me Cant explain ........

    And so it goes on, so many mixed up feeling`s when you have dementia, so much going on in your head, so many flashbacks of times past, worries of times to come, feeling of impending doom, trying to put on a brave face for all but knowing deep inside your dying, bit by bit.

    Every time someone reminds you of something you have forgotton, knowing that bit is gone forever, never to return, another minute, another hour another day of wondering what's going to happen next.

    And yet ???

    All this time we try to explain to loved ones how we are feeling at the time

    SO SO VERY SORRY WE CANT xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


    Norrms xxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  2. mickeyplum

    mickeyplum Registered User

    Feb 22, 2018
    100
    I'm so sorry you're feeling so distressed. I'm sure Elaine understands that what you are describing is very real and will just want to love and support you. My husband is the same as you . Thank you for helping me to understand exactly what's going on in his head that is so hard for him to explain
     
  3. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,319
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Your very welcome x
     
  4. Rosalind297

    Rosalind297 Registered User

    Oct 14, 2017
    84

    Well, for what it’s worth, I think you've explained it and very meaningfully too.

    I shall think of your words the next time I can’t get through to Mum. Frustration, bewilderment and sorrow on both sides of the relationship. Just awful.
     
  5. Jaded'n'faded

    Jaded'n'faded Registered User

    Jan 23, 2019
    509
    Female
    High Peak
    I agree with @Rosalind297 - you DID explain exactly how you are feeling. And you know why too - dementia.

    Keep strong, Normms, you're doing fine :)
     
  6. silver'lantern

    silver'lantern Registered User

    Apr 23, 2019
    122
    Female
    oh my days.....this made my eyes leak.....so true and so real
    I thank you for sharing. I see all you are describing in my PWD face .....I saw it this morning when he was wandering around lost and pathering 'looking for something' he will know what when he finds it. You have described the look on his face I see so often that he can't articulate. The 'I dont remember that' glazed over look The look of despair.... I know he can't. and know why..... but to see it written
    THANK YOU for sharing
     
  7. LizzieM

    LizzieM Registered User

    May 6, 2019
    36

    Norrms - big thank you from here; you’ve just turned my failing battery torch attempt to shine a light on this and understand into a huge bright spotlight. OH, dearly beloved, just can’t explain either but this helps me understand a bit better why that is. Big hug all round. Xxx
     
  8. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,319
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you all so much x
     
  9. lis66

    lis66 Registered User

    Aug 7, 2015
    274
    Big (((hugs))) to you norrms my mother has Alazimhers and vascular dementia she gets very angry and frustrated ,as she says everyone tells her what to do ,and she's right everday ,it's have you cleaned yourself after using the toilet ,wash your ,hands flush the chain ,etc etc this is her life now ,and I know how I would feel if it was me ,I see the fear in my mother's eyes and I feel it will stay with me forever take care norrms xxx
     
  10. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,319
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you xxxx
     
  11. annielou

    annielou Registered User

    Sep 27, 2019
    143
    Aww norms that sad to hear x
    I keep thinking this must be how my mum must feel too. She's not said that but from how she acts I think she must. It must be awful for you and for her and others feeling like that.
    I'm sure your wife tries her best to understand and appreciates you at least trying to explain and answer.
    Its interesting to read things from your point of view as I'm seeing it from the other side with my mum.
    I need to keep her feelings in mind more I think, so this is a good reminder for me.
    Mum has a headache today she gets them a lot, always when she's going round and round worrying and trying to make sense of things. I think its more brain ache than headache. I often wish both me and mum had little on/off reset buttons on our brains we could just flip off to give our brains a little rest when we're worrying and then switch them back on after a bit and feel refreshed and ready to start again.
    I wish there was a solution to make things easier for you. X
     
  12. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,319
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    Thank you x
     
  13. PJ

    PJ Registered User

    Jan 26, 2017
    327
    Female
    Bristol
    Wow Norms I can totally relate to this. In fact I’d like to thank you because often when I get days like the ones you explained I feel I can’t begin to explain. I just know my brain feels like it’s been shaken & all my emotions, flash backs & anxiety is overwhelming.
    Keep up the good fight x
     
  14. Norrms

    Norrms Registered User

    Feb 19, 2009
    5,319
    Male
    Torquay Devon
    You are so welcome PJ xx
     
  15. Tomsnan

    Tomsnan New member

    Nov 27, 2018
    4
    thank you so much for putting this into words for me. i can never find the right. ones to explain
    i am 3+ yrs into ad myself but i looked after my dad when he had Vascular and he used to say he felt ill but not really ill and now i know what that felt like too

    i have a gp appolntment next week first one for a while as i seem to remember the appointment but not why im going i will show him your post
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.