Question - Court deputy ignoring family

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Dementia Talking Point' started by Elliejoshua, Dec 10, 2019.

  1. Elliejoshua

    Elliejoshua New member

    Dec 10, 2019
    Hi Team

    New member and first post !

    My elderly parent is in a carehome and my own deputyship application got
    lost - they have over 15,000 open cases on the go.
    A court deputy was (hopefully temporarily) appointed and he has caused
    much distress within the first month.
    He has totally cut the loving family out of the loop - financial and welfare.

    Post has been redirected - I thought he could only hold onto the “financial”
    post but he has refused to return all the other post so includes grandchildren
    post cards from their school trips and half term.
    All contact with the bank has ceased so no statements
    All health care questions are dressed up as “financial” so the carehome
    has refused - under his direction to confirm even if she had her hair washed
    (Mobile hairdresser visits)
    His first letter out to parent was not a introduction letter and a second one listing
    his fees - he went straight for the -I am selling the home of 50 plus years. yet
    the parent has 6 years of fees in cash.

    Last act this week was to stop the (limited) in available cash - £30 - bank card
    so now I cannot even buy a newspaper as requested each day for the crossword.
    The crossword is the only thing that works when visiting to keep him/ her amused
    and engaged.
    Any suggestions to stop his actions.
    I have applied to the CoP but he moves quickly - it’s only been 2 months and our
    loving sweet mum - is being restricted and controlled completely against the wishes.
  2. sausagedog

    sausagedog Registered User

    Aug 22, 2019
    The Deputy , I’m afraid to say, doesn’t technically need to liaise or discuss anything with family members. I am not sure that he’s actually doing anything wrong from what you’re telling us....not liking the process however is a different matter. You applied to be The Deputy & you say the form ‘got lost’ but who recommended a CoP Deputy if you had already applied ?
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    This thread interests me as I have been asked by the bank to become Guardian/Deputy for my sister in law who is handicapped and 84. I have no intention of doing this after being POA and carer for my husband for seven years. I would prefer social work to take on the responsibility when the time comes but reading of your difficulties worries me. Is this typical?
  4. Louise7

    Louise7 Registered User

    Mar 25, 2016
    There are some 'generic' details showing the responsibilities of the Deputy on the OPG site but it also states that the court order will specify what the Deputy can and cannot do so it seems that this could vary:

    Without knowing the full background to the circumstances it's difficult to get the full picture but sausagedog has made an interesting point with regards to why a court deputy was appointed when family had already applied for this role. It seems extreme for the care home to refuse to tell family whether someone has had a hair wash but there may well be other things going on that have necessitated the appointment of a court deputy. If there are concerns about the way that the Deputy is conducting his duties then the OP should contact the OPG to raise these.
  5. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    I can't comment on the legal or financial issues but find the comment about the crossword puzzling (sorry about the pun). Is the original poster saying that they do not have the means to buy a daily newspaper or that they consider that all such expenditure should be charged to the person with dementia? Perhaps a crossword puzzle book as a Christmas present might be a good solution.
  6. Lynmax

    Lynmax Registered User

    Nov 1, 2016
    I was also a bit puzzled (!!!) by the reference to buying a daily newspaper to be able to do the crossword. If it is something that the pwd enjoys doing, then I would have thought that the family could manage to cover the cost themselves without using the pwd's money. You can pay monthly for a daily newspaper much cheaper than buying one each day. I also thought about buying a crossword book as a Christmas gift.

    I have no knowledge about the role of court appointed deputies as my mum set up LPA while she still has capacity but I can understand the initial financial actions they have made, bank accounts are often frozen as soon as an attorney contact the bank so even a debit card might be stopped. However, I would think you could contact the OPG with any concerns.

    Good luck in getting some clarity.
  7. sausagedog

    sausagedog Registered User

    Aug 22, 2019
    From what @Elliejoshua has said, it would appear that the court appointed Deputy is acting with within their role. Sometimes, family members do not understand the absolute role of a Deputy and what powers and responsibility they have. Certain information is missing from the original post because the courts do not appoint a Deputy unless there is contention or other mitigating factors.
  8. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    North Manchester
    Not really addressing the current problem but hopefully useful to members.

    All this can be avoided if LPAs are sorted out whilst the person has capacity.
    IMHO they have equal importance to wills.

    Failure to prepare is to prepare for failure.

    The loss of capacity need not be dementia, it can be an accident involving a head injury.
    LPAs give the donor the chance to state who they would prefer to act on their behalf if in the future they were unable to do so.

    Has everybody organised LPAs, you could get run over by a bus or simply trip over something and bang your head?
  9. sausagedog

    sausagedog Registered User

    Aug 22, 2019
    Good advice Nitram!!! It is VITAL to have LPA in place and so many people are Just not aware of the consequences if they don’t for their loved ones. I should also add that should an LPA OR Deputy die (as in my FILs case who was acting Deputy for my MIL) it’s wise to have a replacement(s) in place to avoid issues that could occur (ie contention between siblings & huge legal costs!)
  10. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    You're so right (and actually I did fall over and sustain a head injury a few years ago).
    Me and my OH did EPAs about 25 years ago.
    We were thinking about doing LPAs to replace them but haven't got round to it yet.

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