Putting someone to bed

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by Marnie63, Aug 9, 2018.

  1. Marnie63

    Marnie63 Registered User

    Dec 26, 2015
    1,347
    Hampshire
    Does anyone have to deal with putting someone to bed on their own, when that someone cannot really help much? I wish I could have some evenings where I don't have carers, so that I can have a relaxing evening with mum and put her to bed at our own pace, rather than when carers come to help. But, although I can get her changed, put her on and off the commode with a stand aid, and get her onto the bed with the stand aid, the hardest bit I find is actually getting her from sitting on the side of the bed, into the bed! It's really hard to do alone, and hard on my back too, as I have to lift her legs with my left arm, while supporting and positioning her head with my right. I have Wendylett sheets on the bed and also use a slide sheet to help reposition her in bed, but it's that initial 'swing' into bed that is hard. Does anyone do this, and have a different way? The physio who used to come suggested I get mum to lift her legs onto the bed, so that it was easier on me, but she can't really do that any more. I can't think of any other way to do it, and of course it is much easier with two people doing it together, which is why I have the evening carer call. I could hoist her in as I leave a sling in situ in the wheelchair in case she has more TIAs while sitting, but then I can't toilet her on the commode! Why has someone not devised some better, more technologically advanced equipment, to deal with this. Current systems seem so hard and so, well, out dated, in this age of whizzy technology.

    I was chatting to tonight's carer about incontinence, and how much of a challenge it is to manage. We decided someone needs to invent a device that is implanted into the bladder, and which can control bladder function (to replace what the brain used to do in someone with dementia). A remote control, used by the carer, could then be used to open the bladder and at least then we could control the urine flow. In my case, it would be once mum was settled on the commode. I wonder if and when things will advance so that the life of carers becomes a little easier.
     
  2. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,156
    USA
    Marnie, I am sorry to say I have no advice for you, but hope others will see this and respond with something helpful. Mostly I just wanted to say hello and ask how you are and send best wishes your way.
     
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,778
    UK
    Have you thought about building up the height of the cushions, or even look at those large wedge shaped ones, Lets see if I can explain this easily! With the height high enough to support her back, neck and head then maybe all you would have to do is lift and position her legs,
     
  4. Jale

    Jale Registered User

    Jul 9, 2018
    76
    Female
    Probably a very silly question but I will ask it anyway - any chance of getting a hospital bed that can be raised or lowered?
     
  5. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,778
    UK
    I did think of this, but thought she had one. Just checked out complete care shop online and they have pillow and leg lifters, but very expensive.
     
  6. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    10,353
    Female
    London
    #6 Beate, Aug 9, 2018
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2018
    How about getting an OT to assess the situation? If they feel there are gadgets that can help with your situation, they can provide them for your mother.
     
  7. Rolypoly

    Rolypoly Registered User

    Jan 15, 2018
    2,027
    Could you google for ideas, I’ve just had a look and there are various utubes that might be of use that you could maybe adapt. Sorry can’t be more helpful.
     
  8. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    4,866
    Cotswolds
    Hi @Marnie63
    I like @Tin ’s idea of a wedge pillow..... but I do think it would be a good idea to get an OT assessment. Even if you’ve had one before, there may be new ideas or equipment that may help. Even that hospital bed!!!
    Whatever you do, please don’t put your back out, as you know only too well, I expect, that would help neither of you.
    Hope you get something sorted soon.
    Love
    Lindy.
     
  9. Marnie63

    Marnie63 Registered User

    Dec 26, 2015
    1,347
    Hampshire
    Thanks for all the ideas, much appreciated. I forgot to mention an important point, as usual, which is that we do already have a hospital bed, so at least that helps me/us. There's no way I would be able to get her in and out of a normal bed now, with her limited mobility and no ability or awareness to help. I think I will try some new ways with the back of the bed raised, I think that's how the physio told me to try, but it was a while ago. I also quickly watched a video on line of someone laying the person on their side first and then lifting the legs into bed, but as usual, the man being put to bed was helping! It really annoys me when the video seems to be about helping a 'helpless' person, and then the 'actor' helps with the action! I watched something recently showing a car hoist in action (am not getting one, just watched out of interest) - they showed the person being lifted from the wheelchair, then the next shot is the person sitting in the car seat - so why didn't they want to show the actual transfer itself?!

    Sadly my lower back is under constant strain now, but I do try to be careful with it. Mum's stand is a bit stronger at the moment, so that puts less strain on my back. It's a very fine balance though. I tried to do some weeding in the garden yesterday, but I found it too uncomfortable. I think the weeds will have to stay!
     
  10. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,778
    UK
    With back, neck and head supported someway, would it be possible to then lift legs on, in effect laying on her side then adjusting /removing these supports so that she is laying flat on her side and then the motion/movements to place her on her back.
     
  11. Rolypoly

    Rolypoly Registered User

    Jan 15, 2018
    2,027
    Do you have a back belt to support your back? Can’t think of the proper name, but the sort of thing weight lifters wear. My OH has a dodgy back, goes at the slightest thing and we all know about it, and he puts on a belt if he’s lifting or as a general support if his back is a bit dodgy. I did notice one of the lifters in a video was wearing one. They also used a belt that went around the person they were lifting which looked good.



    This sounds a good idea, maybe with the wedge pillows.
     
  12. Herewego

    Herewego Registered User

    Mar 9, 2017
    74
    When we were looking after my MIL I got a bed (like a hospital one) and used to lift the back so it was almost as high as it would go, then sit her down slightly sideways on the bed, that way when I lifted her she wouldn't fall back and I could use both hands to lift her legs in. I should add that she would still need some repositioning and as she had never been that heavy, with her dementia MIL had lost weight so was a small and relatively slight individual so if required, I could actually lift her and reposition her.

    As I decided before she moved in that I was not going to damage my back caring for her, we invested in a bath lift and electric bed both of which were absolute lifesavers. I also have to add that while at the beginning I did everything for her every night and all weekends (I was working). We had an aupair (for our kids) who also was here for MIL during the day while we were out plus I had carers that came in and got MIL bathed, and dressed in the morning and came back just after lunch to toilet/change MIL. As time went on tho' I got her up at weekend and we looked after her during the day, but carers came every evening to put her to bed - it just got too much otherwise.

    You need to look after yourself, it would be awful if you wear yourself out, so while annoying, use the carers and look after yourself.
     

Share This Page