Putting clothes on back to front

Louise83

Registered User
Feb 5, 2019
83
0
Another little issue my mum has that causes her a lot of distress/anger (sometimes towards me - accuses me of doing something to her clothes to make them back to front!)

This happens almost every day and night now, especially with her nightdress. Yesterday she put her trousers on the wrong way, we walked to the shops and neither of us noticed till we got home!

I've tried explaining, put the nightie face down on the bed, then put it over your head, but she keeps getting it wrong and gets angry etc.

Not worst problem to deal with I know, but wondering if anyone has any suggestions to help her?
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
Putting jumpers on as trousers, three pairs of socks on at once, pyjamas on top of clothes. All variations at one stage until I sat every morning beside John and handed each item and helped where necessary. I’m afraid that’s how it has to be.
 

Juliematch

Registered User
Jun 24, 2017
167
0
I agree with marionq.The only way is to help with dressing. Dad put shirts on with the collar around his waist, trousers and pants back to front ,if I left him on his own to dress. I made a game off it and I was lucky he accepted the help.
 

Louise83

Registered User
Feb 5, 2019
83
0
Just to add to this, mum also has an issue where she thinks I have interfered with her clothes, hidden them, torn them, put labels on, taken labels off etc. Dresses are too short/too long etc.
Got to the stage where getting her ready to go out is a nightmare.
Tonight we were supposed to be going out for a family meal but she turned that vicious on me (almost hit me too), then said she didn't want to go etc that we've just cancelled.

I know there isn't anything we can do about this, just needed to vent.
 

CardiffGirlInEssex

Registered User
Oct 6, 2018
356
0
Just to add to this, mum also has an issue where she thinks I have interfered with her clothes, hidden them, torn them, put labels on, taken labels off etc. Dresses are too short/too long etc.
Got to the stage where getting her ready to go out is a nightmare.
Tonight we were supposed to be going out for a family meal but she turned that vicious on me (almost hit me too), then said she didn't want to go etc that we've just cancelled.

I know there isn't anything we can do about this, just needed to vent.

I can sympathize with this, my mother no longer recognises any of her clothing as being hers and keeps trying to throw it away. My dad and I are accused of having got rid of all her clothes and replaced them with this 'rubbish'. Very difficult.
 

Buteo

Registered User
Mar 20, 2019
83
0
I now dress my wife after a long period of clothes on the wrong way, inside out, one pair of trousers over the other etc. etc.It seems to be one of those things. After she started taking Memantine, she would let me dress her, but before then I spent a lot of time trying to get her to put her shoes on the right feet and developing ruses to get her to take her clothes off so I could wash them.
 

scb

Registered User
Jun 27, 2019
19
0
Hi, my husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 6 months ago. I think he is in early stages, but dressing and undressing are becoming increasingly problematic for him. We go to the gym daily, and I pack clean clothes for him in his gym bag, so that he can put them on after his exercise and shower. Jackets or cardigans are problematic as he seems unable to handle the sleeves. Jackets are often half worn, half slung over a shoulder. It is distressing him, and as I can't go into the men's changing room with him, there seems little choice but to try to remedy the strange garb when he meets me at reception. We both love going to the gym and have lots of social interaction with other folks there, and he loves that but I worry that he will stop wanting to go as his inability to dress himself grows. He is well able to use the gym equipment and is safe in the environment as he has been weight training since a teenager and remembers well how to load weights, etc. I guess the only other option is to tell him to meet me unshowered and still in his gym gear, but as we go out for a coffee and a snack after the gym, he might be uncomfortable with that situation as well. Ideas gratefully accepted...…… thank you.
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,723
0
Suffolk
Isn’t there a family changing room you can both use? I asked at my local swimming pool/gym and they were more than happy to allow us to take advantage!
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,324
0
As Spamar has said, most gyms/leisure centres have a mixed-sex changing area, either a family changing room or a disabled changing room - is that a possibility?

Alternatively, are there types of clothing he's better with - e.g. give him a short sleeved t-shirt to put on, then you can help him with the top layer when you meet up.
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
348
0
My father was confused today as to why he couldn't get his shoes on. I pointed out that taking his slippers off first might help a bit... yesterday he was trying to wear 2 pairs of glasses at once.
 

Graybiker

Registered User
Oct 3, 2017
326
0
County Durham
Not much advice, sorry, but it reminded me of a particular time when I told mam her trousers were on back to front. She argued about it, so I pointed out the label was at the front. She promptly ripped the label off and said “There, sorted!” :)
 

Felixcat1

Registered User
Feb 23, 2021
169
0
Reading this thread is making alarm bells for me. About a month ago my dad told me he nearly had an accident going to the toilet. He hadn’t realised that he had put his underwear on the wrong way round, started to panic when he realised because he was desperate. Anyway, he was able to make sure that he didn’t wet himself, how, I don’t know and neither did he. I thought, okay, make a note of this, everyone can put their underwear on wrong, though it’s usually inside out.
I speak to my dad every day and often twice a day. He lives on his own and refuses to have any help, apart from me, but I work full time and don’t live near him.
On Monday, I asked him if he was okay and he said no. It turns out that it took him over an hour to put his trousers on. He was rolling around on the floor getting annoying and cursing. Then tonight he said he hadn’t put his clothes on in the right order and had to get undressed again, though it didn’t take him quite as long. Now alarm bells are ringing! Looking at the positives, at least he could tell me ( though not clearly,) and he could still remember the issues with his trousers. Is this because it is some that has only just happened?
When I starting phoning him twice a day, in the afternoon he would say “you again,” but now he doesn’t remember speaking to me in the morning.
Are the issues with dressing just the next decline in this horrendous journey that is dementia?
 

Mum mo

Registered User
Jan 1, 2019
28
0
Horrendous journey it is and yes this seems to be a common occurrence. Horrible I know but sometimes you just have to laugh as crying doesn't help and it's not disrespectful at all. Hope I haven't offended anyone I cerainly don't mean to
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Are the issues with dressing just the next decline in this horrendous journey that is dementia?
Yes, I think it probably is.
I remember mum getting very cross with the carers in her care home and telling me that she didnt need any help with getting dressed. Then she went to the loo and came back and told me in bewilderment that she was wearing 3 pairs of pants! From then on she needed help with getting clothes on in the right order and not repeating the steps.
OH has now started having difficulty working out which way round things go on. He is holding the polo shirt with the front facing him and then putting it on. He cant seem to work out that you have to turn it round so that the back is facing you.
 

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
746
0
Portsmouth, South Coast
Clothing! Argggghhhh. If left to his own devices then inside out, upside down (this is actually possible), backwards, trying to put pants or trousers on over his head, slipper or shoes - not necessarily a matching pair - on wrong feet or toes into the heel part first, top clothes on first, multiple layers, and even wriggling into my clothing if I carelessly leave something within grasping distance.
I've simply started 'dressing' him as the alternative is a long, tedious, frustrating episode to start the day with. My battles - I chose which ones aren't worth the effort of fighting.
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
476
0
I wonder if this is why mum has started going to bed fully dressed? I thought it might be because she was cold, but this could be it! Before this she was coming downstairs with no trousers on. It’s very difficult to address this problem if you don’t live with them.
 

duchess55

Registered User
Sep 1, 2021
138
0
Clothing! Argggghhhh. If left to his own devices then inside out, upside down (this is actually possible), backwards, trying to put pants or trousers on over his head, slipper or shoes - not necessarily a matching pair - on wrong feet or toes into the heel part first, top clothes on first, multiple layers, and even wriggling into my clothing if I carelessly leave something within grasping distance.
I've simply started 'dressing' him as the alternative is a long, tedious, frustrating episode to start the day with. My battles - I chose which ones aren't worth the effort of fighting.
I do exactly the same with my husband.
 

Felixcat1

Registered User
Feb 23, 2021
169
0
Yes, I think it probably is.
I remember mum getting very cross with the carers in her care home and telling me that she didnt need any help with getting dressed. Then she went to the loo and came back and told me in bewilderment that she was wearing 3 pairs of pants! From then on she needed help with getting clothes on in the right order and not repeating the steps.
OH has now started having difficulty working out which way round things go on. He is holding the polo shirt with the front facing him and then putting it on. He cant seem to work out that you have to turn it round so that the back is facing you.
?I thought as much ?
 

Bearz77

Registered User
Jan 18, 2020
100
0
I wonder if this is why mum has started going to bed fully dressed? I thought it might be because she was cold, but this could be it! Before this she was coming downstairs with no trousers on. It’s very difficult to address this problem if you don’t live with them.
My mum started to not put pjs on for bed as well. I think it was partly as she didn’t realise she had to and partly much easier not to faff about trying to put clothes on. Around the same time, I discovered after she had a stay in hospital she was wearing three pairs of pants. Sadly it all seems to be part of the process.