Mum 74 with moderate AD.
Have already learnt not to tell Mum when any doctors or hospital appt is due until the day, to save a lot of anxiety and questioning.
When Mums two sisters went back to Scotland for a months holiday I told them not to tell Mum. She simply would not understand why she wasn't invited. Least of all her dementia and mobility issues sitting on a plane for 20+ hrs.
In the end another sister let it slip. For 3 whole weeks we never heard the end of it.
Now as Mums dementia advances, she can usually remember important facts, just not the finer details.
So, Dad and I will face questions repeatedley for days on end. Mums anxiety worsens as a result.
Now, Mums brother is organising a reunion for all the family this coming April as it is 50 yrs since they emigrated to NZ from Scotland. They came by boat which took 6 weeks.
She has heard it mentioned before by one of her sisters but didn't take much notice and yesterday her brother phoned her. It's lucky if he phones her twice a year!
Now she is all in a panic. How is she going to save money to go on the boat. How will people get time off their work. Would she be able to go. How long will it take. Are they going on the same boat. Who is going?.... Her parents came with them on the boat, but now they are dead... Will that matter....
and on it goes.
I wish I had the forethought to tell her siblings not to tell Mum anything. Same goes for any event at all really... Until the actual day of it happening.
Is this fair?
Have already learnt not to tell Mum when any doctors or hospital appt is due until the day, to save a lot of anxiety and questioning.
When Mums two sisters went back to Scotland for a months holiday I told them not to tell Mum. She simply would not understand why she wasn't invited. Least of all her dementia and mobility issues sitting on a plane for 20+ hrs.
In the end another sister let it slip. For 3 whole weeks we never heard the end of it.
Now as Mums dementia advances, she can usually remember important facts, just not the finer details.
So, Dad and I will face questions repeatedley for days on end. Mums anxiety worsens as a result.
Now, Mums brother is organising a reunion for all the family this coming April as it is 50 yrs since they emigrated to NZ from Scotland. They came by boat which took 6 weeks.
She has heard it mentioned before by one of her sisters but didn't take much notice and yesterday her brother phoned her. It's lucky if he phones her twice a year!
Now she is all in a panic. How is she going to save money to go on the boat. How will people get time off their work. Would she be able to go. How long will it take. Are they going on the same boat. Who is going?.... Her parents came with them on the boat, but now they are dead... Will that matter....
and on it goes.
I wish I had the forethought to tell her siblings not to tell Mum anything. Same goes for any event at all really... Until the actual day of it happening.
Is this fair?