Punching, spitting and biting!

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Rosserk, Oct 20, 2019.

  1. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    341
    Hi all

    My dad is lashing out at hospital staff. He’s spat at nurses and attempted to bite them. His language is also disgusting he’s like a rabid dog. I am mortified and feel physically sick.

    He can can hardly move and he’s very stiff and curled up in a ball. He’s been in a wheelchair for 4 years. He only lashes out during personal care. He will scream and swear at the slightest touch if he doesn’t know it’s coming. He reacts like he’s been punched. I can’t see a care home putting up with it. He’s been a practicing catholic all his life and would never swear at a woman. Don’t get me wrong he’s never been angel but he was always a gentleman.

    Is there anyway to moderate this behaviour I really feel for the nurses and care workers and he would be so ashamed. X
     
  2. Havemercy

    Havemercy Registered User

    Oct 8, 2012
    124
    Is it possible that your father is in a great deal of pain which he is not able to articulate? As a nurse, this is what I would be thinking about and hopefully the nurses on the ward will assess if this could be the reason for the behaviour. Best wishes.
     
  3. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    972
    Male
    North West
    It is distressing for all concerned, but there is not much you can do other than ask for people to warn him properly or some sedation before care needs are carried out. If you feel that would best. It is a horrible thing to witness and I feel for you. But the nurses and doctors will know this is not your dad but his illness.
     
  4. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    341

    My father was admitted to hospital with urosepsis. He was photographed in A&E because they discovered multiple pressure sores grade 3. The whole of his bottom is also red raw and weeping. The hospital raised a safeguarding issue and he can’t return to his care home so yes I think he’s in pain which he’s unlikely to be able to articulate. He can no longer string more than three words together, when he swears or lashes out it’s usually two words then he’s forgot. I will ask if he’s getting pain relief because it wasn’t mentioned when I asked about medication. The rest of the time he’s very sweet and always says please and thank you. He can answer simple questions with yes or no and that’s it.
    Thank you. X
     
  5. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    341
    Thank you it is very distressing to see. X
     
  6. notsogooddtr

    notsogooddtr Registered User

    Jul 2, 2011
    877
    It is so upsetting when a much loved parent is suffering so much.Your poor Dad,no one should be neglected as he seems to have been.I hope things improve for both of you soon
     
  7. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    341
    Thank you I saw the pictures today and I was almost physically sick!
     
  8. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,442
    Kent
    He is probably also feeling frightened alongside his confusion, I hope he is found a lovely care home which meets his needs with staff who have a good understanding and expertise.
     
  9. Lirene

    Lirene Registered User

    Sep 15, 2019
    149
    I am so sorry for your distress. Will pray for you and everyone. Love and hugs xx
     
  10. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    341
    Thank you x
     
  11. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    341
    Thank you he is a catholic who never missed a day in church his entire life regardless of where he was in the world. He was given the last rights on Saturday the 12th but he rallied. He is very frail and I’m hoping he gets some peace soon xx
     
  12. Woohoo

    Woohoo Registered User

    Apr 30, 2019
    391
    Female
    South East
    Oh @Rosserk :( I’m so sorry to hear this , I too hope that they can get your dad more comfortable .can imagine how hard it is to see your poor dad like this , though as said nursing staff should be used to it . How is your foot doing ? Did you have any luck with mum ?
     
  13. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    341
    Hi, thank you!
    My foot is still a little bit sore but seems to be getting better in spite of not being able to rest it, fingers crossed.

    I have abandoned SS I can’t deal with them right now. They are the ones running the section 42 enquiry and they haven’t told me anything! They are less than useless!

    The mental health team changed mums medication and she seems a little better but it’s early days. She’s still crying a lot and still extremely bored. X
     
  14. Banjomansmate

    Banjomansmate Registered User

    Jan 13, 2019
    1,284
    Female
    Dorset
    The Banjoman reacted in the same way when he was in hospital after breaking his femur after a fall. Medical staff were unable to get anywhere near him! They couldn’t get bloods or give him medication. Eventually he was discharged back to his Care home and they managed him well even though every time anybody touched him shouted the place down.
     
  15. Rosserk

    Rosserk Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    341
    It’s so awful isn’t it, it’s like they become suddenly afraid of everyone. I guess they lose the ability to distinguish between a person whose harmed them and a person who hasn’t. Or in your case they don’t understand the injury and become afraid of everything. What a rotten disease! X
     
  16. Woohoo

    Woohoo Registered User

    Apr 30, 2019
    391
    Female
    South East
    Glad to hear foot is doing well all things considering @Rosserk . Good to hear about mum being a little better , keep fingers crossed she responds well to medication. Shame about the lack of help from the agencies that are there to help you . Warm wishes to you and your family . X
     

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