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Pulled the trigger on respite care

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,571
0
I'd certainly think long and hard before returning him home to the annexe. It does sound as though he maybe needs more care than you could provide at home, even with carers coming in. Do you think if he does return home, he'll recognise it as where he lives?
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,958
0
High Peak
I'm sorry that the carer said that - I think they are wrong. It sounds as though your father is deteriorating generally. Where he is will make little difference to that.

In the later stages of dementia there definitely seems to be a 'giving up' factor. I think many of us have seen it in our loved ones but I really feel it's part of the dementia and not something that can be rectified. (Though some people do benefit from anti-depressants.) As the brain gradually shuts down the person is just no longer able to function as they once did. How could they? There comes a point where the person does seem to give up and goes silent, effectively turning their life over to their carers. Awareness is greatly diminished if not gone altogether.

I've just re-read what I've written and realise it sounds very negative, depressing and hopeless. I'm really sorry about that. But I honestly think you should leave him where he is. I just can't see that the new annexe/bringing him home will change anything. Sorry.
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
296
0
I'd certainly think long and hard before returning him home to the annexe. It does sound as though he maybe needs more care than you could provide at home, even with carers coming in. Do you think if he does return home, he'll recognise it as where he lives?
Yes, I think he will, he's been talking about how progress is coming on. His dementia isn't that pronounced compared to his physical disability. Several of his carers have been in since we have and are saying he's been quite chatty and in good spirits. In some ways if he's bedbound it makes things easier as he won't be trying to move around and fall over.

It's not decided either way yet but the current plan is for him to come home
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
296
0
I'm sorry that the carer said that - I think they are wrong. It sounds as though your father is deteriorating generally. Where he is will make little difference to that.
He is deteriorating but I think he'd rather die at home than in care. My late mother made that choice. It all depends on whether we can get the necessary equipment here and work out a care routine. Having a UTI really doesn't help but I don't know if his kidney disease is getting worse, which is why he's getting them, or some other reason.