Hi there, I've just joined this forum and I'm hoping some of you may be able to give me some advice. My mum is caring for my dad, who has memory problems - possibly Alzheimer's. I am worried about both of them, because my mum seems unable to accept that my dad can't help being confused. She gets angry and impatient with him and he gets more and more nervous as she gets more and more irritated, which makes him more confused, which makes her more angry, etc! She refuses to contact any support groups or organisations - she doesn't "do that kind of thing". I understand that his behaviour must be very frustrating for her, but she seems to be looking for reasons to be annoyed with him by testing him on things. For example, the other day, she put him on the spot by asking him what my name was - and he didn't remember, even though he knows it fine when not under stress. This was upsetting for both my dad, and me. So far, I've just gone along with her explaining that she knows it's wrong, but that she can't help it when she has to live with it every day. I do sympathise with her, and try to visit them regularly to give her some support (although I live quite far away from them), but I can't continue to watch her undermine my dad and make him terrified to say or do anything in case she snaps at him. Does anyone have any tips about how I could try and rescue my dad without being unsupportive to my mum?