my mum is 72, diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s and at present lives alone, about 16 miles from me. For both me and my brother it is approx a 35 min journey each way to drive to her house and annoyingly, it is not on my way to anywhere such as work so it is tricky to combine visits with doing other things. For almost 2 years, I have managed all finances, bills, any paperwork, shopping and house maintenance for mum. I have stopped her driving and I have POA. I check her food and encourage her to eat properly. More recently I have taken on her social activities, trying to maintain contact with friends. Last year, we lived with her for 4 months and it became clear how much she was hiding. As a result, I have tried to increase support for her. I feel that when she is living alone, she becomes worse. Both my brother and I average around 8-10 calls a day from her but recently, she has been calling earlier and earlier (5.30am) and much later (up to 1.30 am). She isn’t aware that it isn’t a great time to call and she is not calling because of a crisis. She does sometimes remark that no one is around when she walks the dog (possibly because it is 5.30!). I know she is lonely and I know she spends much of the day watching tv. She also happens to live in a totally quiet cul de sac where nothing happens and you could go weeks without seeing another human. More worryingly, recently she has had several episodes where she phones in a panic looking for her mum (who died many years ago) or telling me there are people in the house (when there isn’t). I keep thinking that these symptoms are made worse by her being alone so much. We try to visit several times a week and I have arranged 3 different carers to visit and take her out each week. But that is still many hours alone. It would be entirely possible to ask my mum to come and live with me and I veer between thinking this is a good and practical idea, and feeling terrified as thIs is pretty monumental stuff. I live with my partner and teenage kids and it would obviously impact everyone’s lives. If she did live with us, I could hopefully park the money from her house sale into savings so were she ever to need a care home, the funds would cover it. But meanwhile, there is just the basic day to day stuff to contend with. I know many of you have experience of having a parent move in and I wonder what you wish you had known beforehand? Or what would you advise someone else to do? With the benefit of hindsight, would you have done things differently? Right now I have the guilt as I feel I maybe could and should be trying to improve the quality of her life whilst I can. From her point of view, she has talked about moving and been keen to do so (especially recently - I was surprised by her enthusiasm at the idea of selling up,having previously been totally against the idea). She likes the idea of a place closer to us but is unrealistic about living alone. She would be lost within minutes of walking out of a new place and I think we underestimate how well she copes now simply because she has lived in the same place for over 30 years. She hints that she loved it when we lived with her last year (which was always only going to be a temporary thing whilst our house was repaired) and she “jokes” we should live together. I think sometimes that my biggest worry is that most people on meeting my mum would think she was fine as she hides stuff pretty well. And she will get cross with me or upset when I try to sort things out - to be honest, I end up feeling like I’m 14 all over again! What I’m trying to say is that this is not some sweet little old lady who will blend in with the furniture. When I stayed with her, she wanders about till she finds me and constantly asks what we are doing next like I am chief entertainer. It’s tiring. But if I leave her living alone, am I condemning her to becoming worse far quicker?? Sigh. Sorry for long post. Thank you, as always, for your wise words.