1. Donbon79

    Donbon79 Registered User

    May 26, 2011
    48
    Blackpool, Lancashire
    My mum's funeral was today. It went as planned.

    I don't know how to cope with the grief. I'm just struggling to come to terms with it so badly. Not only is she dead but now she's been cremated. There's only ash now. She's properly gone.

    What do I do? How do I deal with it? I feel so overwhelmed with sadness and loss.

    I just want my mum. I need my mum. I need her to cuddle me like she used to when I was upset and tell me it was alright. Before the dementia stole her. Only her hugs where the ones that made me feel better.

    I feel distraught.
     
  2. sunray

    sunray Registered User

    Sep 21, 2008
    1,420
    Female
    East Coast of Australia
    It is very had when you have been fully involved in your parent's care for a long time and particularly towards the end to realise it is all over and they are at peace. It is harder to face that they are no longer accessible to us. I felt that way too when my Mum died. It is so difficult to feel she is no longer able to give you hugs or advice or simply those words only she knew to comfort you. Instead you have to rely on those around you to support you. We may never meet but I want to send you a (((hug))) anyway as another devoted daughter who has faced such a loss.

    Sue.
     
  3. Bill Owen

    Bill Owen Registered User

    Feb 17, 2014
    182
    BRIDGEND
    Me too

    i feel for you . I just gone througth it my self .lost my wife to lewy body dem ,in march after looking after her for 5 years.only 62.young. It will be tuff sorry im dis lix so bare with me.its still hard for me .but thare is some ligth at the end. Y wife had a chuch service,then we went to the crematorium.all i can say she is now at rest and not sufring .keep storng have you moment .but you mam will want you to have you life now.go to the crem. To with flower.like i do it will comfot you .belive me .from wale her is a big cwch .you r have a other cwch from me
     
  4. Jan69

    Jan69 Registered User

    Apr 19, 2016
    20
    Leeds
    I am so sorry and there's honestly nothing I can say to make things any better. I just wanted to reply to let you know your message has reached someone. I felt destroyed when my wonderful dad died 14 years ago but it wasn't as hard for me as he died of a non-dementia illness and he was entirely my dad right up to the last. Mum has been my life for the last 14 years - I promised dad I would never leave her - but now as she begins with dementia I know she will leave me.
    Things are terrible for you but your mum must have suffered dreadfully through the dementia and you with her. That's over for her now and all her confusion has gone. Please try to rest and look after yourself the shock you feel will be so debilitating and I think you must have devoted so much of your life and energy to your mum that it seems there is nothing now. I send you all my thoughts and any comfort I can offer xx Jan xx
     
  5. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    7,724
    North Yorkshire
    So. Sorry..........

    Dobson your dear Mum has passed away. Sorry no advice but wanted you too know am thinking of you

    Sending lots of love , Big Hugs & Support

    Love and Kind thoughts

    Grove. X X X
     
  6. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    7,963
    North East England
    I know it hurts, but you have to lose someone you have been lucky enough to know and to love, before it hurts this much.
    You have lost Mum's cuddles.....this is very sad indeed because they cannot be felt now, but the memory of how warm and safe you felt can be remembered. You cannot hear her voice, yet you can hear certain words and know how she said them. You have lost her dementia and her suffering,so bring out the memories of the Mum before she became ill.

    Mum lives on in you...

    With Sympathy....Maureen.x.
     
  7. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    My heart feels for you. All I can say is your Mum hasn't gone she will be around all the time you just don't see her. Take comfort in your memories of her. Sending you big hugs xx
     

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