Help? My mother was admitted to an S2A bed in a care home for assessment of her mobility straight from hospital. The understanding was she would be coming back home. This week the SS have informed me that mum is happy at the home and she will not be coming back home! Her mobility has improved and she is able to get about but I do not understand why she is not able to come back home? Her first language is polish. She does speak english but at times its broken english and i have always interpreted for her, but since she was admitted to this care home no one has ever contacted me to translate what sge says or anything! My sister and I were both of the understanding that if she completed her mobility assessment she would be able to come back home, we feel as though our mum has been kidnapped? Can the SS do this? Do we have no say? Thank you
Problems with Social Services
- Thread starter Roman223
- Start date
My opinion is a very clear ‘yes they can ‘.
The main reason is the mental capacity act. If she has capacity and has chosen to stay in the home then there is nothing you can do about it.
If the hospital sent her for the mobility assessment there must have been some serious concerns around her mobility, I know this because they were happy to send my mother home to me when I needed to use a towel as a makeshift hoist to get her off the toilet.
I wonder would your mum have 24/7 support from you if she returned home? I wonder if this was considered when the decision was made. If they felt she would be on her own when she fell would that have influenced the decision ?
Social service have access to interpretation services should they be required. Social services do not pack people off to homes for no good reason, they always go for a package of care at home first because it is cheaper. Normally the complaints are that the person requires full time care, but social services do not wish to pay!
Your mums mobility must have been so bad to be sent to the centre.
With Covid infection rates falling we will be seeing the end of lockdown and visiting opportunities opening up. It can’t be long before you can visit mum and find out how things stand.
People sometimes get a power of attorney for finance and don’t bother with health, this is an example of when a POA would have been useful. If the person has capacity it has no official value, but I find you get taken far more seriously when you have one.
I am sorry you are feeling so upset. The lack of visiting and inability to communicate are things that cause such stress at the moment.
The main reason is the mental capacity act. If she has capacity and has chosen to stay in the home then there is nothing you can do about it.
If the hospital sent her for the mobility assessment there must have been some serious concerns around her mobility, I know this because they were happy to send my mother home to me when I needed to use a towel as a makeshift hoist to get her off the toilet.
I wonder would your mum have 24/7 support from you if she returned home? I wonder if this was considered when the decision was made. If they felt she would be on her own when she fell would that have influenced the decision ?
Social service have access to interpretation services should they be required. Social services do not pack people off to homes for no good reason, they always go for a package of care at home first because it is cheaper. Normally the complaints are that the person requires full time care, but social services do not wish to pay!
Your mums mobility must have been so bad to be sent to the centre.
With Covid infection rates falling we will be seeing the end of lockdown and visiting opportunities opening up. It can’t be long before you can visit mum and find out how things stand.
People sometimes get a power of attorney for finance and don’t bother with health, this is an example of when a POA would have been useful. If the person has capacity it has no official value, but I find you get taken far more seriously when you have one.
I am sorry you are feeling so upset. The lack of visiting and inability to communicate are things that cause such stress at the moment.
With all the visiting restrictions due to Covid I understand your frustrations and upset @Roman223. My experience is the same as Weasell's comment that Social Services do prefer a home care package before a care home on the basis of cost as much as anything. If you need any more professional, but free advice the helpline is open today Dementia Connect | Alzheimer's Society
Hello @Roman223
It sounds as if Social Services are acting against your will and it is making you feel helpless and angry.
Can you ask yourself, aside from the possible language difficulties, if you would be able to provide the level of care your mother would receive in residential care and if this decision by Social Services might be in your mother's best interests?
Do you think your mother might end up in residential care eventually even if she is allowed home now.
I `m sure we would all prefer to make decisions for our people with dementia and it`s tough when these decisions are made over our heads.
If you really feel your mother would be better at home for now and in the immediate future, please ask for a best Interests meeting.
It sounds as if Social Services are acting against your will and it is making you feel helpless and angry.
Can you ask yourself, aside from the possible language difficulties, if you would be able to provide the level of care your mother would receive in residential care and if this decision by Social Services might be in your mother's best interests?
Do you think your mother might end up in residential care eventually even if she is allowed home now.
I `m sure we would all prefer to make decisions for our people with dementia and it`s tough when these decisions are made over our heads.
If you really feel your mother would be better at home for now and in the immediate future, please ask for a best Interests meeting.
if this is still true and if she is self funding or the LA are prepared to fund there is nothing you can do about it.
Will she now be able to safely manage the stairs at home?
A similar thing happened to my mum. She had a TIA and went from hospital to an assessment bed in a care home. At the end of this period (6 weeks) there was a Best Interest meeting as no-one had Health and Welfare POA and I was invited so I saw what happened. The reason for the Best Interest meeting was to decide what would be in mums best interest after this assessment period - should she go home and what care package would be required, should she stay at the care home permanently, or should she be moved somewhere else?
During this assessment it became obvious that mum would require 24/7 care. Even having carers going into the house would not be sufficient. I was asked whether I could move in with her, or have her move in with me, but I could not as I was caring for my OH already, my home was not suitable for someone with mobility problems (she had problems with stairs) and before the TIA mum would not allow me into her bungalow. The Social Worker looked mum in the eye and said "Dont you want to go home?" and mum replied "I thought this was my home". So she stayed there and I was actually relieved as there had been so many, many problems beforehand.
Social Services do not like moving people from their homes and consider a care home the last resort, but they are legally bound to to take the person with dementias wishes into consideration. If the assessment has shown that your mum requires 24/7 care (and that means far, far more than just mobility problems) and she has also expressed the wish to stay there, then no, there isnt much you can do.
It is a shame that because of covid you cannot visit. I think that if you could go and see her in her care home and know what it is like you would be much reassured. As for the language problem - I think it is highly likely that there is at least one carer there who speaks Polish. I do not live in an area that is renowned for multi-culturalism, yet the care home seemed to have people of lots of different nationanaliries and backgrounds working there, including Eastern Europeans.
During this assessment it became obvious that mum would require 24/7 care. Even having carers going into the house would not be sufficient. I was asked whether I could move in with her, or have her move in with me, but I could not as I was caring for my OH already, my home was not suitable for someone with mobility problems (she had problems with stairs) and before the TIA mum would not allow me into her bungalow. The Social Worker looked mum in the eye and said "Dont you want to go home?" and mum replied "I thought this was my home". So she stayed there and I was actually relieved as there had been so many, many problems beforehand.
Social Services do not like moving people from their homes and consider a care home the last resort, but they are legally bound to to take the person with dementias wishes into consideration. If the assessment has shown that your mum requires 24/7 care (and that means far, far more than just mobility problems) and she has also expressed the wish to stay there, then no, there isnt much you can do.
It is a shame that because of covid you cannot visit. I think that if you could go and see her in her care home and know what it is like you would be much reassured. As for the language problem - I think it is highly likely that there is at least one carer there who speaks Polish. I do not live in an area that is renowned for multi-culturalism, yet the care home seemed to have people of lots of different nationanaliries and backgrounds working there, including Eastern Europeans.
Thank you for your reply! SS did not say that mum could not come back home! There was no concerns with her doing stairs also, her mobility improved whilst in the home. No I am not able to provide 24hr care but SS were intending to devise a care package but as I did not know how my mum was/had been previous to being in hospital for a long stay nothing materialised so yes I am finding this difficult to accept as my mum changes her mind on a daily basis as in wanting to go home etc. The SS should have between them and the Care Home devised a plan beforehand not given me the decision to do this as i had not seen my mum sinve Oct last year. I am in the process of obtaining a POA.
Each time I speak to my mum she keeps saying she does'nt like it and wants to come back to her own home! She also says she will give the home notice and tell them she is leaving! As she thinks she is working there. I am really confused by all of this.
Hi @Roman223, your mother sounds like she is in the right place. If she thinks she is working there she probably isn't thinking of the home you think she is when she says she wants to go home.
I moved my mother to a care home when she was still physically pretty fit for a ninety year old. The reason I did this was she wasn't taking care of herself, couldn't manage cooking or housework any more and she was going out putting herself at risk by drinking in a local pub with random men. She also has very limited eyesight which made crossing roads a bit of a lottery for her, but it was something she was doing a few times a day. If you asked mum if she could look after herself she would have siad yes and given you details. She wasn't lying, she really thought she was doing those things, but I'm afraid it's the nature of dementia to confuse and muddle things that really are happening now, with things that happened in the past, plus a fair bit of imagination to fill in the gaps.
If Social Services think that four care visits a day aren't enough then I think your mother needs to be where she is, even if that isn't what you or her want. I know you haven't seen her for a while, so if you are relying on what she tells you about how she could managed stairs, cooking etc you will probably find that she can't actually do those things, or at least not safely. Is there a chance you can get a visit to see for yourself or at least talk through why they are making the decisions they have with social services?
In the meantime you know your mum is safe where she is, and that visiting restrictions should start to ease soon so you can go and see her for yourself.
I moved my mother to a care home when she was still physically pretty fit for a ninety year old. The reason I did this was she wasn't taking care of herself, couldn't manage cooking or housework any more and she was going out putting herself at risk by drinking in a local pub with random men. She also has very limited eyesight which made crossing roads a bit of a lottery for her, but it was something she was doing a few times a day. If you asked mum if she could look after herself she would have siad yes and given you details. She wasn't lying, she really thought she was doing those things, but I'm afraid it's the nature of dementia to confuse and muddle things that really are happening now, with things that happened in the past, plus a fair bit of imagination to fill in the gaps.
If Social Services think that four care visits a day aren't enough then I think your mother needs to be where she is, even if that isn't what you or her want. I know you haven't seen her for a while, so if you are relying on what she tells you about how she could managed stairs, cooking etc you will probably find that she can't actually do those things, or at least not safely. Is there a chance you can get a visit to see for yourself or at least talk through why they are making the decisions they have with social services?
In the meantime you know your mum is safe where she is, and that visiting restrictions should start to ease soon so you can go and see her for yourself.
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