Problem with visits


Registered User
Oct 7, 2005
Hi Everyone

I am looking for some ideas concerning visiting a loved one in a care home. I was wondering if there is some kind of organisation that could help maybe even visiting someone.

I am an only child and so the only visitors my mum gets are from Dad and me, but unfortunately, as I think I’ve posted before, mum really see’s us as the enemy and seems to hate us both. Our visits disturb her and she gets very abusive. They really don’t improve her day at all. But even so the thought of her not having visits, and us not being able to see she is ok is heart breaking. I really need a fly-on-the-wall to see her and update me.
I hope this post doesn’t seem like I want to ignore her, I only want to do what is best and least distressing for mum and also my elderly father who finds the visiting disturbing when no amount of distraction can take mums mind off of insulting and hurting him.

Any ideas would be appreciated.


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Clare, are you in touch with your local branch of AS. I know our wonderful branch workers do visits to care homes, if requested.

No one judges on this forum, and I can quite understand how tomented you and dad must feel. Maybe you will receive some other suggestions, but for now take care of yourself. Connie


Registered User
Oct 7, 2005
Thanks for your reply Connie

I will contact the local AZ branch. I also wondered if Cross Roads charity group did this sort of visiting. Does anyone have any experience of this.

From Clare

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