1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. FrazzledOfLondo

    FrazzledOfLondo Registered User

    Jun 15, 2015
    4
    I am at my wits' end and don't know where to turn for help or advice so hoping someone here might have been in similar situation.

    I set up a joint power of attorney with my brother for my dad's affairs several years ago when my dad was diagnosed. My brother has never taken much responsibility but, stupidly, I thought keeping him involved might make him feel more adult and encourage him to be more involved with decisions with my dad's care (my brother is older than me btw).

    I am only just now getting around to getting the POA registered with the banks as my brother had lost his driving licence and had no passport and the banks require photo ID for each of us - after asking him for about a year he has finally got this sorted out.

    My brother has not worked for most of his life and is refusing to claim benefits as he says the process is too difficult. He has some health issues so I have tried to be understanding but it is getting beyond a joke. He is living off my dad's money - admittedly, his costs of living are low but obviously this is unacceptable as the money should be going to my dad's care. He has my dad's bank card and has been using this for months. I know from past experience he will get himself to the point of starvation rather than help himself so I have tried to be understanding and give him ultimatums but it has no effect. I feel incredibly guilty that my dad's affairs are not properly being taken care of because of this situation and worried there could be some criminal liability on my part because of what is going on.

    As the final straw, I found out my brother was meant to go to court several months ago as the CSA are pursuing him for child support. He has just ignored every single letter from them and not bothered to contact them. He lives in a caravan and has all post sent to my dad's address so, for all I know, bailiffs could be about to turn up any day to my dad's house and demand entry to seize goods. My dad has a live in carer so she would be there to protect him but it is a terrible situation.

    I am going to block my dad's card and cut my brother off from further support as there seems no other way of making him take action.

    Does anyone know if it is possible to remove someone from a power of attorney if, for example, a CCJ has been issued against them? I just don't know how I can carry on dealing with everything and all my dad's financial affairs, care, bills, household admin etc if the banks are going to insist my brother needs to be involved.

    Sorry for the great long rant...
     
  2. MrsMoose

    MrsMoose Registered User

    Oct 1, 2014
    152
  3. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,182
    Poa

    Have you registered the POA yet?
    If not don't!
    Redo the application in your name only.

    Bod
     
  4. FrazzledOfLondo

    FrazzledOfLondo Registered User

    Jun 15, 2015
    4
    Hello Bod, thanks for your message, yes it was registered years ago - and what fun that was!
     
  5. FrazzledOfLondo

    FrazzledOfLondo Registered User

    Jun 15, 2015
    4
    Hi Mrs Moose, thanks for the suggestion. Yes I think I'll give them a call. I'm going to try to find out first if he has a CCJ against him (can find out through work but not till tomorrow) as it's something concrete to tell them. I'm worried if I tell them about the bank card and basically that I have let him get away with this that there could be some bad repercussions all round.

    Having read some of the posts in this forum and the terrible situations people are dealing with, I'm feeling mine is not so bad.
     
  6. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,182

    Are you "jointly or Severally" POA's?
    Is it an Enduring power of attorney, rather than Lasting power of attorney?

    Bod
     
  7. FrazzledOfLondo

    FrazzledOfLondo Registered User

    Jun 15, 2015
    4
    Hi Bod, thanks for your message, it's joint for some things (opening and closing bank accounts for example) and several for others (admin of household bills etc). It's a lasting power of attorney - not sure what the difference is compared to EPA as LPA was the system in place when we did this.
     
  8. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,182

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