1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    I stopped and thought "my wife who does not know my name sometimes, does not know where a single room in the house is
    or how to hold a spoon, basically how to do anything. Here she is trusting me implicitly to feed her, dress her, wash her, and
    comfort her. How does her mind have the ability to trust me to that degree". For that I feel so humble and privilege to care for her.

    (ok so there are times when she wants me to feel
    her hand :) :( :D but I'm sure she does not mean it.)
    There may come a time when my feeling privileged & humble is wearing me out
    but I guess 'til then I'll carry-on.

    cris
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    You make such a telling point.

    I've often thought the same - today, as much as any, when her care home decided on a BBQ because of the weather.

    I was there over lunchtime and, while a BBQ is great for the staff [and why shouldn't they too have some fun?] the food is really challenging for someone in Jan's condition.

    I omitted the burgers because they would have been too chewy [Jan is hugely sensitive to anything that is hard to chew], the sausage I cut the middle out of into small pieces chucking the skin, and the chicken legs I ripped apart and cut the flesh into tiny pieces, then fed all these things by finger, together with chips that I had to cut into small pieces as Jan can't chew them now.

    Such a responsibility and such trust from her. Truly a privilege and as a reward, when I said "was that nice?", Jan replied "yes".

    Can't ask for any more reward than that.:)
     
  3. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    Brucie, you're a great inspiration, I admire you and I hope I can cope as well as you do when Susan is as poor as Jan.
    God bless them.
    cris
     
  4. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #4 Margarita, Aug 8, 2007
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2007
    OK not sure what you see wrong in feeling her hand , meaning am asking you why does she not mean it , what wrong with her saying that .......... she must mean to stroke touch her hand showing an emotional feeling from you like when you hold hand showing affection .

    am hoping you don't think I am being rude or don't take an offense in what I said please
     
  5. cris

    cris Registered User

    Aug 23, 2006
    326
    Chelmsford
    Hi Margarita. What is meant by "feel her hand" or the full wording is "feel the back of my hand".
    It is a violent slap with the hand across someones face. So when Susan says I'll feel her hand, it refers to her hitting me with her hand. :eek: Not nice.
    Have a good time in Gibralter. I'll think of you there. :)
    cris
     
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    thank - you I shall not fell so stress when I get they ,

    oh susan mean a slap across your face , no comment on that , because that what I use to feel like doing to my Ex.

    see its stress I should not be saying that , should be saying something supportive.

    My mother use to pock me in the arm really hard , it would really hurt use to get on my nerves and use to shout at her to stop it after a long while it stop , because she was put on exbiza .

    so now when she feeling angry because she frustrated she just shouts
     

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