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Registered User
Oct 23, 2021
Apart from POA and making a Will can anyone tell me of any preparations I should make for my husband's journey further in to Dementia. Not necessarily formal, but social and domestic.Is there anything "you wish you had done" before it was too late. Thanks


Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
High Peak
Don't ask him to make a bucket list as that's depressing and could lead to disappointment. But it there are things you know he always wanted to do that are actually possible, now might be a good time, so you can make some good new memories. (I'm thinking about things like join the National Trust or get a garden makeover...)

In the background, there's a lot of stuff you could do, such as researching dementia, making yourself aware of care homes and day care centres in your area, separating your bank accounts, paying for a funeral plan (sorry I know that's depressing), applying for Attendance Allowance (not means tested) and Council Tax reduction, looking into all the rules around funding care, etc.

Also, try to think about the future - your own future, as you are part of this 'journey' too. Have a think about what your lines in the sand might be.

And you've already done the most important, useful thing, which is to join TP!


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Be prepared to get outside help in before you feel you really need it. Perhaps start with getting a cleaner in, or someone from AgeUKs Help at Home scheme, so that he gets used to outside people coming in. When OH started needing help with getting washed and dressed I did it, but the children insisted that I got carers in and they were right.

It is too easy to feel that you dont need outside help, that these things will only take 5 mins to do, they are things you are quite capable of doing yourself..... But it all adds up timewise. It also got OH used to other people coming in and helping him. He wasnt keen at first, but now he looks forward to them coming and it gives him other people to chat to. If you leave it till you are desperate he might have reached the stage where he can no longer adjust to other people coming in and instead insist that you do everything yourself.

Violet Jane

Registered User
Aug 23, 2021
I would think about whether your house is going to become too much for you as your husband’s needs increase (and both of you age). A house that is too large for you, requires a lot of maintenance and is expensive to heat is going to become a burden. Ditto a large garden. There are a lot of additional costs associated with caring for a PWD and, although there are some non means tested benefits available, they will not cover all of these costs once you start paying for carers, day centres, respite care, incontinence products (if the LA does not supply them). Most carers will require paid for outside help in the later stages of dementia.

If you are planning to move then it’s probably best to do this earlier rather than later. Downsizing is a lot of work and you may not have the time and energy for it if you leave it until your husband’s dementia is advanced,


Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
I wish we had moved house into a bungalow. I wish I had got help earlier and I wish I’d separated our finances.

My husband used to do most of the driving and I had not driven on a motorway for years. I was totally deskilled but had to grit my teeth and do it when his driving licence was revoked. So try to rebuild skills that are rusty and that you may need.

On a positive note I am so glad that we took lots of short UK breaks, making lovely memories which I still recall but he doesn’t.