1. Geraldine

    Geraldine Registered User

    Oct 17, 2003
    143
    Nottingham
    Mention of these in a couple of threads made me investigate one for Mum and put one in place while she still has capital to pay for the type of funeral she would expect. I personally am not awash with cash and the only one so it is all down to me.

    Court of protection says they do not favour plans as there have been problems but are willing for me to go ahead anyway providing I am happy with the terms. An Age Concern paper says taking out a plan could be seen as deprivation of assets. They get you at every turn don't they. I am taking this plan out while there is money still there - dwindling fast due to care home fees- I only wish I had thought of it earlier. In my ever practical way I want to think about this now while I can cope with thinking about the cost and not when the times comes and I am too upset to think about anything.

    Anybody any experience.

    regards as ever Geraldine
     
  2. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    Hi Geraldine

    I read your post with great interest as this is something I had been thinking of looking into on behalf of my mum in law. She is in 'early stages' of AD and so presently still lives in her own home. There is an EPA in place but it has not yet been registered. Would you advise that now would be a good time to get a plan sorted ie while her funds are still in her control?

    Best Regards
    Gemini
     
  3. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    It's an extremely good idea to do this as soon as possible, however gloomy the thought. It has to be paid for anyway at some stage.

    'Deprivation of assets' sounds utterly ridiculous to me. If you pay after the event, then that sum will be taken into account by the Tax Department when assessing the estate. If before, then the sum is exempt from tax. Also, it's much better to plan now rather than wait until you are in an emotional turmoil later on.

    I'm in favour of sooner rather than later.

    Jude
     
  4. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    #4 gemini, Oct 21, 2004
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2004
    Thanks

    I'll put a note in my 'Must Sort ASAP' Folder. In the mean time doe's anyone know any plans that are particullary good or bad, and would she have to pay monthly or put in a lump sum.. she'll be 71 in December.

    Love
    Gemini
     
  5. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Gemini,

    Have a look in your local yellow pages and ring a few funeral directors. They will send you details of their pre-paid plans at various prices. Usually, it is a lump sum payment, but some may have different arrangements.

    Jude
     
  6. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    Hi Jude

    Well I took your advice and have spoken to several local funeral directors who have been most helpful and are going to send me details through the post. It all seems to be very easy and straight forward. Looks like I should be able to transfer it to my 'out tray' within a week or so.

    Dear Geraldine , I apologise for hijacking your thread but equally many thanks for raising the issue, as unless I'd of been prompted to by your posting, I dare say It would be something I would never of gotton round to sorting.

    I hope everything goes well with you.

    Many thanks
    Gemini
     
  7. Geraldine

    Geraldine Registered User

    Oct 17, 2003
    143
    Nottingham
    Hi Gemini

    this too has made my mind up. I already have details and am ready to sign on the dotted... but I just needed a push!

    Geraldine
     
  8. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    Dear Geraldine

    I'm sorry, I didn't realise that you had yet to sign on the dotted...

    All of the funeral directors I spoke to earlier seemed very knowledgable about all aspects of the current situation regarding care home fees and the current law etc. I can now also see the benefits of sorting this out now, rather than, as Jude pointed out, leaving it until a time when we may not be emotionally equipped to make decisions of this nature. When the info arrives, I intend to sit down with mum in law and discuss what SHE wants. It shouldn't be too difficult as she has already made her main wishes very clear.

    Thanks again for motivating me to sort this out. I hope every goes ok for you

    Love
    Gemini
     
  9. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Hi all, I did one for my Mum and when she died, it was a real help because it was already partly set out. We had met the funeral directors prior to the sad day they came to collect her and so it made it all more personal somehow to know a bit about the people doing these last important things for her. Hope that helps you all with info. You can pay for a basic funeral, then if you want extra things like more than one limo or to have them leave from home etc. it is a bit more but it is all discussed with you when you do the plan, so it can be easier than trying to think of what they would want when you are really upset. Love She. XX
     
  10. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Dear all
    on the advice of our FA we took out EPAs and funeral plans for both of us.
    The funeral plan paid for is a bit more that no council can get hold of.
    As Sheila says you can add to the plan and ask for any personal alterations as you wish.
    Do it as soon as possible
    Norman
     
  11. Geraldine

    Geraldine Registered User

    Oct 17, 2003
    143
    Nottingham
    I have now arranged the prep-paid funeral with a lovley lady from a local funeral director. It was handled very well, no trying to sell me what I did not want, in fact the cost was less than I expected. As Norman says there is now less for the SS to get their hands on.

    regards

    geraldine
     
  12. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Geraldine,

    It must be a such a relief to know that you have overcome a large hurdle like this. I am still looking at various programmes, but have to get things sorted out for my parents within the next fortnight or so. It seems so final and I keep messing around, although the alternative would be totally unbearable if I was o/seas and had to come back and deal with it later.

    Jude
     
  13. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Geraldine
    I think you will get peace of mind now.
    It gives me some satisfaction to know that my funeral is also paid for ,less for some else to worry about if I go before Peg
    Norman
     
  14. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    pre paid funeral plans

    Hi Gemini, I would try and sort out as much as you can before the EPA is registered. Apart from all the trouble I had from Lionel's children when I registered same (all sorted now), I have found that the EPA restricts you in all sorts of ways.

    The bank manager was helpful to me, but several things could not be altered once the power was registered.

    Sorry, seem to be rambling, long day...must go to bed. Connie
     
  15. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    #15 gemini, Oct 29, 2004
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2004
    Thanks Connie,

    I have received several brochures and will go through them when I've got more time next week (ie kid's are back at school)..

    When we first sorted the EPA last year, I naively thought that that was it... all matters were dealt with. I'm only now beginning to realise that that is far from the case, so if you can advise of any other matter that may need sorting now I would really appreciate it.

    Thanks again

    Gemini
     
  16. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    pre-paid funeral plans

    Dear Gemini,
    I found that it was helpful to make all accounts joint, ie added my name to them, before the EPA was registered. One bank account I didn't, so although I can sign Lionel's cheques, I cannot use his card, as it retains his name only.
    You cannot make any changes to the status quo after registration , also no changes to wills etc.
    Probrably this will be O.K. in your case, but I am only Lionel's partner, hence the problem with his children, who think I only look after him 24/7 for his 'money' Makes you smile doesn't it.
    Keep smiling, Connie
     
  17. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    Hi Connie,

    Thanks for that info... Mum in law made a new will last year when she bought her new place, so as far as I know that should be ok as she didn't make any major changes to her previous one. I did recently take her to her bank ,however, where she signed a 'third party mandate' naming me solely, which according to the bank manager gives me access to all of her accounts held with that bank. I explained why this was neccessary and they assured me that that was all she needed to do, to allow me to sign her cheques etc. But since then she has still not received any written notices etc, so I think I may give them a ring and double check that this is all set up correctly.

    Many thanks

    Gemini
     
  18. gemini

    gemini Registered User

    Sep 8, 2003
    69
    Nottingham
    Hi Connie

    Well that was incredibly annoying.... After waiting in the queue for a good 5 mins... The customer services representative said he couldn't help me and would have to transfer me to my local branch...... Strange because according to 'Yellow Pages' that was where I thought I was ringing....

    Anyway, the third party mandate IS in place, which does allow me to sign her cheques and withdraw money etc, even though my name is not and never will appear on the actual cheque book, card, or any statements??? You've made me wonder if this arrangement will give her the protection and peace of mind later on that it was intended to do. What do you think?

    Sadly, I feel there will always be family members that will think your 'just after the money'... If only they could be in your shoes for a day, they'd realise differently. I really do sympathise with you on this. I myself feel obliged, even at this early stage to keep records of all financial transactions, I never want any of her family to be able to say that I have not done the best for her. Sadly, I have a gut feeling that at least one family member will.... and I will ask that person, why they think mum in law entrusted ME with her financies and not them??? Was it beacuse they were not there? Was it because she felt they didn't care? or was it simply because I was the only one that took the time and trouble to repeatedly explain what was going on???

    Keep Smiling
    Love
    Gemini
     
  19. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Gemini

    Yes! Answers to all three of your questions - yes. If people choose to operate with evil minds that is for their consciences. You are not answerable to any of them - unless, of course, they wish to take over the reins..............I rest my case!

    love
    Chesca
     
  20. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear all,

    During his most recent visit, [his only visit in a a year which lasted 48 hours], my brother wanted to know how much I was paying our carers. When I told him, his comment was 'Oh! They are doing extremely well out of us, then'. Don't you just love the 'US' bit? I was under the impression that this is our parents' money not 'OURS'.... To say nothing of the incredibly good care and support that WE receive, which is worth every penny!

    Jude
     

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