Prematurely moved to care home

Skid

New member
Dec 2, 2017
9
0
Hi, I'm new to talking point and forums. My mum has a diagnosis of Alzheimer's and vascular dementia (mixed dementia). Dad died five years ago (2012) and without him around, we realised mum was having memory issues. NHS were not supportive and so we had a private diagnosis of early stage dementia. Mum has lived on her own until five weeks ago when she fell down stairs at my sister's house, breaking her clavicle and several ribs. We live far apart - Mum's in Essex, me Hampshire and my sister Wiltshire. We noticed a change in Mum's dementia earlier this year and she said she thought it had 'gone up a notch'. With advice from her GP, we decided to move her closer to me in Hampshire; she was happy with this and quite excited that we would finally be closer. However, she then had the accident and has been in hospital in Wiltshire until Thursday this week. Based on the hospitals advice and care needs assessment, we put her into a dedicated dementia care home on Thursday but it was evident, within 24 hours, that she isn't advanced enough in her dementia to be there and she is going stir crazy as the other residents are further ahead and she can't find a pal/stimulus. We know this is the perfect home for her in the future, just not yet, but that wasn't evident until she got there. I just don't know what to do and can't believe the experts at the hospital got it so wrong - I was at a distance which made it difficult to judge how she was, and Mum and my sister don't get on - my sister just kept telling me she was 'fried'. What to do now? Do we leave her where she is as she will need that care at some point or move her now? We are self funding but only for so long! The hone are being brilliant and have said they will assess her properly and help us place her in the right care. Mum is 76 and very young; she likes a night out with the girls, rock music, pizza/pasta, boogieing and I can only find care that caters for quieter souls. If you read my introduction to the end, bless you, and any advice you can offer will be gratefully received!! Thank you.
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
Good evening @Skid, and welcome to TP.
That your mum's care home are going to help her find a more suitable place is a positive. You probably won't know yourself if this is a sensible answer or not until you see your mum again, but we live in Extra Care Housing and that has a mixture of people with different care needs including my partner who has vascular dementia. There are 2 others with dementia, and 20 others, some of whom are quite active. You have your own flat, but a communal lounge with plenty activities, we have had concerts and meals a few times. There are always carers on site and alarm cords if you need help.
Would that be any good to your mum in the short or medium term?
IT may be a good idea to repost your question in the "I care for a person with dementia" forum to get more answers. Good luck.
 

Skid

New member
Dec 2, 2017
9
0
Good evening @Skid, and welcome to TP.
That your mum's care home are going to help her find a more suitable place is a positive. You probably won't know yourself if this is a sensible answer or not until you see your mum again, but we live in Extra Care Housing and that has a mixture of people with different care needs including my partner who has vascular dementia. There are 2 others with dementia, and 20 others, some of whom are quite active. You have your own flat, but a communal lounge with plenty activities, we have had concerts and meals a few times. There are always carers on site and alarm cords if you need help.
Would that be any good to your mum in the short or medium term?
IT may be a good idea to repost your question in the "I care for a person with dementia" forum to get more answers. Good luck.
 

Skid

New member
Dec 2, 2017
9
0
Thank you for your quick response @nae sporran & top tip! The hospital suggested extra care housing but I struggled to find/access this. Issue was complicated by mum being in Bath and due to mum's wishes in her LPA, her wanting to move to be nearer me in Hampshire, and not Wiltshire. Can I ask how you located your accommodation? Do you rent or have you bought? Hospital were focussed on 'secure' even though mum has never wandered. Thank you!
 

nae sporran

Registered User
Oct 29, 2014
9,213
0
Bristol
We went through the local authority housing application system after a local charity called WE Care and Repair advised this as the best route. Social Services were involved too, as they have to sign it off and amend the previous care plan. The slight down side was that it took a couple of months to sort the paperwork and another few months to get a flat, but it is a good half way house if you wait that long.
Hope that helps you @Skid.
 

Skid

New member
Dec 2, 2017
9
0
We went through the local authority housing application system after a local charity called WE Care and Repair advised this as the best route. Social Services were involved too, as they have to sign it off and amend the previous care plan. The slight down side was that it took a couple of months to sort the paperwork and another few months to get a flat, but it is a good half way house if you wait that long.
Hope that helps you @Skid.
Thank you so much, you're a star! @nae sporran
 

emmags

Registered User
Nov 25, 2017
19
0
Hampshire
From having just had a meeting today with various people from different teams the fact that they have said they will help you to find somewhere is good. I am in a very similar situation (and also Hampshire based) my dad needs full time care as my mum is not well to look after him but he is seen as young for a care home and also still physically able in some aspects. It could be worth looking at the home care as what we learned today there is a lot there these days. Let us know how you get on xx