My father died of cancer at 72 and while it was awful at the time it was relatively quick, and he was still my father, if you know what I mean - a rational, lovely man who had not descended into any of the frailties or indignities of old age. I would have hated for him to have to go through what my mother at 96 has been suffering for so long - so many years of dementia and she is now a most pitiful shell of the person she was. It will be sad in one way when she is finally gone, but it will also be a profound relief that she is finally out of it .
It was similar with my in laws - my lovely MIL died too young, only 68, whereas FIL went on into his late 80s, a pitiful shell with advanced dementia.
I know what I would prefer for myself - I would hate my children to have to see me decline as my mother has, with the worry and stress and feeling of loss of it all. I don't mind admitting that I often envied my sister in law, whose parents both died very suddenly of heart attack and stroke in their early 80s without ever having suffered any serious physical or mental decline first. Of course both were shocks at the time, but so much less distressing in the long run for both the person and their family.
