Power of attorney fatigue

[LongDistanceCarer10]

Hi
I've been managing my aunt's affairs for two years and one year ago she went into a care home. I'm also a keyworker so the last 12 months hasn't been much fun, even though I'm not on the clinical doing end of things myself. I'm finding my spare time is hugely taken up with my aunt's banking, preparing her home for rental, organising work and so on. There's so much admin it's like a second job and I'm so very weary of it now. Not to mention tax return, can't even think about that nightmare. All of this detracts from actually being able to travel to visit her or just try to talk on the phone. My siblings are further away, don't phone her either and although sympathetic, don't do anything to help. I can't take carer leave because I'm not actually her carer, and in any case I couldn't do that on a weekly basis, nor do I have spare annual leave.
My house is full of her papers and attic full of her ornaments etc!
With two teenagers to deal with as well, I'm feeling overloaded!
?

 

[AwayWithTheFairies]

Me too except it’s my mum and I have had to go to another country to sort her out. I’m not patient-facing but have a lot of work to do for the NHS and doing it all online is really exhausting and bloody boring too. Bit depressed today! I’m starting to feel really cheesed off! I don’t have any siblings so at least I don’t have that irritation, most of them sound like right bozos from what people write on here.

 

[AwayWithTheFairies]

Maybe once your aunts house is rented you could spend some of the proceeds on something that would help- I don’t know what since presumably it has to go on something that directly helps HER. Not you. But maybe that would indirectly help you? Is she content, does she notice that you don’t call or visit as much (my mum still would), would some sort of extras help her in any way? A financial adviser, manager or accountant or something for her? so you just have to do a little oversight not the whole shebang.

 

[LongDistanceCarer10]

Thanks. I've looked into getting an accountant and had one recommended but they don't do personal accounts. They would do the tax return though, so I'd like that.
Unfortunately the house hadn't been updated for a long time and needed new roof and boiler as well as decorating and so on. So there won't be any profit for quite some time.
She doesn't know I've not been no, you just still feel it yourself don't you. It's more the time spent managing her affairs seems out of proportion to the amount of actual nice things I'm able to do for her or with her. She's in a fantastic home thank goodness!

 

[AwayWithTheFairies]

Well you are doing a very important job for her after all, and will enable her to stay in a suitable home. It will probably get smoother as time goes on. I wonder if something like Age Concern or Citizens advice might recommend more suitable accountants or financial assistants for ordinary people who can no longer manage their own affairs.

 

[Bikerbeth]

Sympathises to you @LongDistanceCarer10. I seem to spend a lot of time dealing with my Mum’s financial affairs too. It is amazing how much time they do take.
Do get a good accountant for the tax return and they will let you know what you can claim for in getting the property ready for rental. (Apologies if you already know) we deliberately went for a fully managed property rental . Yes more expensive but less running around and I get a nice statement each month which makes getting the information together for the accountant easier . I was wondering if you could get a small book keeper involved to help.
I am pleased to hear your Aunt is in a fantastic care home. That does help.

 

[LongDistanceCarer10]

Thanks everyone. Have got an accountant to look at taxable income and the rental side of things so that should help. I think part of the stress is trying to do these things when I'm not in work, then they all phone back when I am at work!
Hopefully once the tenant is in there should be a lull in jobs and queries ?