Hi - I'm in a mess.
On top of my mum having dementia and my dad being old, frail and depressed without her - my brother is not acting fairly as joint attorney.
He has always been irrational and impulsive and has a violent temper.
I deeply regret agreeing to being joint attorneys without the inclusion of a solicitor. At the time we were going through hell - crisis after crisis with mum being sectioned twice. I thought my brother and I were going to mutually support each other and foolishly I trusted him.
I should have known better as he has always been a very difficult person - but very often in life we hope people have changed...
Now - as joint attorneys we are responsible for our parents. I feel a huge commitment to act in their best interest.
My brother has stopped me pursuing what I thought was the best care home for my mum (it would have involved fighting a CCG decision) His reasons against the home were made up lies and irrational arguments that didn't make sense. I proved him wrong but he shouted at me to shut up. Eventually we had to go to a mediation session with our solicitor where again my brother sat and told bare-faced lies.
Now we are looking at care homes again (the last one didn't work out so unfortunately mum was taken back into hospital) and again my brother is telling lies and is now trying to force through a care home choice without my input. It is impossible to have calm, reasonable discussions with him and come to joint decisions. He has been violent with me in the past. I can't see how POA will ever function properly. He is not going to change.
Has anyone found themselves in a position where the joint power of attorney with a sibling becomes unworkable?
Any similar experiences would be helpful - I'm seeing a solicitor this week to get some advice - but I know this could be a very expensive battle and I can't afford to pay solicitors indefinitely.
On top of my mum having dementia and my dad being old, frail and depressed without her - my brother is not acting fairly as joint attorney.
He has always been irrational and impulsive and has a violent temper.
I deeply regret agreeing to being joint attorneys without the inclusion of a solicitor. At the time we were going through hell - crisis after crisis with mum being sectioned twice. I thought my brother and I were going to mutually support each other and foolishly I trusted him.
I should have known better as he has always been a very difficult person - but very often in life we hope people have changed...
Now - as joint attorneys we are responsible for our parents. I feel a huge commitment to act in their best interest.
My brother has stopped me pursuing what I thought was the best care home for my mum (it would have involved fighting a CCG decision) His reasons against the home were made up lies and irrational arguments that didn't make sense. I proved him wrong but he shouted at me to shut up. Eventually we had to go to a mediation session with our solicitor where again my brother sat and told bare-faced lies.
Now we are looking at care homes again (the last one didn't work out so unfortunately mum was taken back into hospital) and again my brother is telling lies and is now trying to force through a care home choice without my input. It is impossible to have calm, reasonable discussions with him and come to joint decisions. He has been violent with me in the past. I can't see how POA will ever function properly. He is not going to change.
Has anyone found themselves in a position where the joint power of attorney with a sibling becomes unworkable?
Any similar experiences would be helpful - I'm seeing a solicitor this week to get some advice - but I know this could be a very expensive battle and I can't afford to pay solicitors indefinitely.