Hello,
This is a long shot but I thought someone here might be able to help my family. My father passed away recently from dementia. I am an only child (32) and mum is 76. Mum is in good health but worryingly she currently have no power of attorney in place.
Mum was happy to sign me as power of attorney. But, she has now gone down the solicitors, and they advised I am signed joint attorney with the solicitor. I can't agree to this as I live over 200 miles away and would be nightmare getting each and every legal document and cheque signed by us both. Mum has a couple of flats she rents out, some investments etc and so looking after these and her already slightly tricky from a distance and also around full time job. Before mum was comfortable with my being sole attorney and another family member as back up just in case.
She is now considering many options - distant family members who have apparently agreed to be her attorney (I am seriously worried they will simply drop out when they realise how much work having never experienced this before and then mum will be really stuck), even having three people are joint attorneys (again, can't see how they would all agree on anything especially in a crisis).
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do or how I can do my best to ensure what she at least gets something in place that is actually workable? At the moment she is attempting to keep any control she can - writing in all kinds of conditions to the document regarding what an attorney can do.
I have tried to explain but mum switches off at this legal stuff. She has been a housewife all her life and this overwhelms and bores her. She just thinks I am difficult/ not suitable because I won't just agree to her plans regardless of implications down the line for her. That turns her off me being her attorney at all. I've tried pointing out she needs to be careful of making it too tight now as we simply don't know what the future holds and it could end up tying her into decisions she doesn't want latter on.
I have no siblings, no dad around and no one else able to help guide mum in this important decision. Solicitor just wants mum to instruct her but she needs at least some guidance as to the implications of whatever she decides... The other family members all want to either a) keep out of what they see as trouble (most of them) b) may want to use this to leverage gifts from her for themselves. The gifts are already being leveraged but as mum is in good state of mind I can do little. She thinks this is all fine and she is just being kind responding to these requests. I think the relatives are prone to seeking a nice little earner for themselves where they can and are therefore unsuitable to be attorneys.
We are not very close to extended family so I can't really expect much else unfortunately. When dad was ill and mum carer for 5 years they didn't even visit her.
Above all else I have tried to keep a good relationship with my mother now dad isn't around to look out for her but it is harder than I could have possibly imagined to balance both this and doing the right thing. I know there is also only so much I can do to help mum but i want to do everything I can to ensure that things turn out ok for her.
This is a long shot but I thought someone here might be able to help my family. My father passed away recently from dementia. I am an only child (32) and mum is 76. Mum is in good health but worryingly she currently have no power of attorney in place.
Mum was happy to sign me as power of attorney. But, she has now gone down the solicitors, and they advised I am signed joint attorney with the solicitor. I can't agree to this as I live over 200 miles away and would be nightmare getting each and every legal document and cheque signed by us both. Mum has a couple of flats she rents out, some investments etc and so looking after these and her already slightly tricky from a distance and also around full time job. Before mum was comfortable with my being sole attorney and another family member as back up just in case.
She is now considering many options - distant family members who have apparently agreed to be her attorney (I am seriously worried they will simply drop out when they realise how much work having never experienced this before and then mum will be really stuck), even having three people are joint attorneys (again, can't see how they would all agree on anything especially in a crisis).
Does anyone have any advice on what I should do or how I can do my best to ensure what she at least gets something in place that is actually workable? At the moment she is attempting to keep any control she can - writing in all kinds of conditions to the document regarding what an attorney can do.
I have tried to explain but mum switches off at this legal stuff. She has been a housewife all her life and this overwhelms and bores her. She just thinks I am difficult/ not suitable because I won't just agree to her plans regardless of implications down the line for her. That turns her off me being her attorney at all. I've tried pointing out she needs to be careful of making it too tight now as we simply don't know what the future holds and it could end up tying her into decisions she doesn't want latter on.
I have no siblings, no dad around and no one else able to help guide mum in this important decision. Solicitor just wants mum to instruct her but she needs at least some guidance as to the implications of whatever she decides... The other family members all want to either a) keep out of what they see as trouble (most of them) b) may want to use this to leverage gifts from her for themselves. The gifts are already being leveraged but as mum is in good state of mind I can do little. She thinks this is all fine and she is just being kind responding to these requests. I think the relatives are prone to seeking a nice little earner for themselves where they can and are therefore unsuitable to be attorneys.
We are not very close to extended family so I can't really expect much else unfortunately. When dad was ill and mum carer for 5 years they didn't even visit her.
Above all else I have tried to keep a good relationship with my mother now dad isn't around to look out for her but it is harder than I could have possibly imagined to balance both this and doing the right thing. I know there is also only so much I can do to help mum but i want to do everything I can to ensure that things turn out ok for her.