Hello
I am new to the forum so hello, this seems like a really helpful place.
My dad was diagosed with AD nearly a year ago and mum and dad are seeing a solicitor soon to set up LPA which I'm so glad they are doing. They have spoken about having me (50) and my sister (46) involved.
Th e problem is that we both have really different styles of managing things with my parents. My sister is dead practical, solution focussed and has loads of really good ideas, she lives 3 hours away comes up every few months and basically does loads of good stuff and then leaves my parents tired, exhausted and frazzled. She is very controled in everything she does and very risk averse. Their relationship with her has had a few problems over the years with them not speaking at times as her husband is pretty hard to be with.(reallly rigid, unkind at times)
My relationship is closer with both, and my mum confides in me alot, I'm 75 mins away and my priority is their dignity and doing things at their pace which means doing things too slowly for my sister. We have noticed that dad hasnt been on top of a few things lately, paperwork, has signed up for stuff that hasnt worked out, my sister was up recently and helped sort it out. She is wanting a big family meeting for us all to go through everything, none of us like her husband and my mum feels overwhelmed by the idea.
My sister and I fell out 2 years ago over how I felt she was talking about them both and I basically tried to rescue them from christmas with her which backfired badly. We speak on the phone and she left me feeling battered this week after 2hours and her wanting them to be "sorted", as she cant "keep coming up and sorting everything"
Basically, although we have one thing in common, that we love our parents and are worried about them, we disagree over approach and I'm seriously questioning if we can be part of LPA and maybe some one else shoud do it, we're a small family but have close family friends. (I am married also and my husbands dad had dementia)
Sorry for the long post but would be grateful for any thoughts, thank you so much
I am new to the forum so hello, this seems like a really helpful place.
My dad was diagosed with AD nearly a year ago and mum and dad are seeing a solicitor soon to set up LPA which I'm so glad they are doing. They have spoken about having me (50) and my sister (46) involved.
Th e problem is that we both have really different styles of managing things with my parents. My sister is dead practical, solution focussed and has loads of really good ideas, she lives 3 hours away comes up every few months and basically does loads of good stuff and then leaves my parents tired, exhausted and frazzled. She is very controled in everything she does and very risk averse. Their relationship with her has had a few problems over the years with them not speaking at times as her husband is pretty hard to be with.(reallly rigid, unkind at times)
My relationship is closer with both, and my mum confides in me alot, I'm 75 mins away and my priority is their dignity and doing things at their pace which means doing things too slowly for my sister. We have noticed that dad hasnt been on top of a few things lately, paperwork, has signed up for stuff that hasnt worked out, my sister was up recently and helped sort it out. She is wanting a big family meeting for us all to go through everything, none of us like her husband and my mum feels overwhelmed by the idea.
My sister and I fell out 2 years ago over how I felt she was talking about them both and I basically tried to rescue them from christmas with her which backfired badly. We speak on the phone and she left me feeling battered this week after 2hours and her wanting them to be "sorted", as she cant "keep coming up and sorting everything"
Basically, although we have one thing in common, that we love our parents and are worried about them, we disagree over approach and I'm seriously questioning if we can be part of LPA and maybe some one else shoud do it, we're a small family but have close family friends. (I am married also and my husbands dad had dementia)
Sorry for the long post but would be grateful for any thoughts, thank you so much