Hi all,
I have a potentially explosive family situation going on and I would be so grateful for your opinions on how you think I should handle it.
Sorry; it's a long one!
In a (big!) nutshell, my brother and I have EPA for our mother who has been in a care home since late last year. The EPA was registered with the OPG nearly 3 years ago when it was becoming apparent that she was having trouble coping with her affairs. The relevant people, including our sister who is not a named attorney, were informed but now our sister is causing my brother and me no end of problems and I really don't know what to do for the best.
It all started when we decided to sell Mum's house, which Mum knew would have to happen to help pay her fees (she is completely self-funding) and my sister wanted to buy it. Great, no problem, we have to ask permission of the COP but, as she will be paying market value (we have 3 separate valuations and have taken the middle one) I see no problem. We get the proceeds and my bro and I invest them in Mum's name with the help of her financial advisor of some 15 years' standing and, if we can get about 4% then she can afford to stay in the lovely home for 30 years or more (she is 88).
Also, luckily for us, her actual capital will remain largely intact which means she should be able to leave us a nice inheritance.
Sister then decides that, if SHE has the proceeds from the sale of the house and invests it, she can GUARANTEE 4% (she's got much more money than my bro and me) but only on condition that Mum gives her the house. Bro and I say, sorry, can't be done as she has an active EPA and bro and I cannot give any of Mum's money away. We offered to ask the COP (knowing they would almost certainly say no) but now she says that she is going to contest us having the EPA and that she is going to prove that Mum has capacity to make this decision.
My sister telephones her regularly and has pretty much persuaded Mum that sister would make a much better job of investing her money than me and bro. Mum is resistant up to a point in that she is insisting that, if she gives away the proceeds, it has to be divided equally between all three of us but my sister tells Mum not to worry, that she will look after our 'share' for us.
By the way, Mum needs the income from the sale proceeds to be able to afford the CH fees.
I am desperately trying to save the relationship we have with my sister but I just don't know what to say to her to stop her from upsetting us all and for her to see that it is morally and legally wrong of her to coerce Mum into doing something she never thought to do when she was in full possession of her faculties.
She is planning to our poor Mum in front of a solicitor in the hope that she can persuade the powers that be that Mum has capacity and that this is what she wants.
Oh I won't go on but your thoughts are very gratefully received.
Thank you.
I have a potentially explosive family situation going on and I would be so grateful for your opinions on how you think I should handle it.
Sorry; it's a long one!
In a (big!) nutshell, my brother and I have EPA for our mother who has been in a care home since late last year. The EPA was registered with the OPG nearly 3 years ago when it was becoming apparent that she was having trouble coping with her affairs. The relevant people, including our sister who is not a named attorney, were informed but now our sister is causing my brother and me no end of problems and I really don't know what to do for the best.
It all started when we decided to sell Mum's house, which Mum knew would have to happen to help pay her fees (she is completely self-funding) and my sister wanted to buy it. Great, no problem, we have to ask permission of the COP but, as she will be paying market value (we have 3 separate valuations and have taken the middle one) I see no problem. We get the proceeds and my bro and I invest them in Mum's name with the help of her financial advisor of some 15 years' standing and, if we can get about 4% then she can afford to stay in the lovely home for 30 years or more (she is 88).
Also, luckily for us, her actual capital will remain largely intact which means she should be able to leave us a nice inheritance.
Sister then decides that, if SHE has the proceeds from the sale of the house and invests it, she can GUARANTEE 4% (she's got much more money than my bro and me) but only on condition that Mum gives her the house. Bro and I say, sorry, can't be done as she has an active EPA and bro and I cannot give any of Mum's money away. We offered to ask the COP (knowing they would almost certainly say no) but now she says that she is going to contest us having the EPA and that she is going to prove that Mum has capacity to make this decision.
My sister telephones her regularly and has pretty much persuaded Mum that sister would make a much better job of investing her money than me and bro. Mum is resistant up to a point in that she is insisting that, if she gives away the proceeds, it has to be divided equally between all three of us but my sister tells Mum not to worry, that she will look after our 'share' for us.
By the way, Mum needs the income from the sale proceeds to be able to afford the CH fees.
I am desperately trying to save the relationship we have with my sister but I just don't know what to say to her to stop her from upsetting us all and for her to see that it is morally and legally wrong of her to coerce Mum into doing something she never thought to do when she was in full possession of her faculties.
She is planning to our poor Mum in front of a solicitor in the hope that she can persuade the powers that be that Mum has capacity and that this is what she wants.
Oh I won't go on but your thoughts are very gratefully received.
Thank you.