postcard from the edge

[mojofilter]

I'm on holiday at the moment, having a much needed break with my fiancee in Cincinnati ...My mum went into respite on the 13th and I got this message from a close friend of mine today. :-

"Just had a phone call from Seddon court (respite) to say that your mum was transferred to Stewart assessment unit yesterday.

Apparently she had become very aggressive and disruptive again . She was also refusing to take her medication.
The gp was unable to help as she wouldn't calm down or take anything to help her .
Dr Theophanus has admitted her to Stewart assessment .
I have tried to phone them but they are busy at the moment . I will try again later.
The staff at Seddon court ( Karen ) said they had seen a very big mental deterioration in your mum this time."


I feel like I've let my mum down, I should be with her at this time ..... My fiancee and my friends have told me to carry on with my holiday because there's nohing I can do for her at the moment and that I need to rest because I'll have to be strong when I get home ..... I know what they're saying but I just don't know qhat to do ...

Paul

 

[jenniferpa]

Hey, Paul. You know your fiancee's correct - what could you do if you WERE there? If she needs to be assessed she needs to be assessed, and if it hadn't happen this time in respite, if would have happened in the next. There is absolutely nothing you can do for her while she is in the assessment unit - to be honest, they'll probably get a more accurate view of her state if you're not hanging around on the fringes.

If you're in Cincinatti, you're spitting distance from me (well if you can spit a long way). I'm just outside Pittburgh.

Jennifer

 

[mel]

Hi Paul
You need that holiday Paul.....let the proffessionals take over for a while,ok? Theres nothing you could do if you did come back. Yes you will need to be strong when you get home.....take this time to recharge those batteries.
Take care and relax....stay cool and chill!!!
love xx

 

[Libby]

Hi Paul

I'll just add my agreement to what Mel and Jennifer have said - everyone deserves a break to recharge the batteries, and caring for someone with AD takes a lot of energy.

So do try and relax - really you shouldn't even be logging on here - you should try and forget about AD while you're on holiday - that's what holiday means - a break away from your normal routine!! So go and relax.

Libs (I do appreciate that it's easier said than done though!)

 

[Amy]

Hiya Paul,
I'm assuming that you are logging on here, cos you want the opinions of those people who know where you are coming from.
You have not let your mum down. She is safe and being cared for. She is getting the assessment that she needs, and soon you will be back with her. Just try and enjoy the rest of your holiday; enjoy the company of your fiancee and friends. You need this time for you, if you are going to be strong enough to face the future.
Take care,
Love Helen

 

[Margarita]

If you do log back on , I am also in agreement with everyone else , stay put as hard as it may feel , your mother is in good hands , you need this time for yourself , I see it as it was meant to be that it happen this way , while you our on holiday to prepare yourself mental . doing so staying on holiday is helping yourself so you can help your mother when you get back . xx

 

[Grannie G]

Paul, continue your holiday, knowing your mum is safe, is being cared for and is giving you a well deserved break.
When you get home, you can do all the things you want to do for her, but for now, try to relax. Even if you were home, there wouldn`t be that much you could do to help her. Leave her to the medics for now and see what they can do.

 

[mojofilter]

Hi Gang,

I think I posted my message here because I feel close to the people on this board. My family and friends are great but they have no idea what I'm going through and I know that the people on here have that knowledge.

My friends mean well but they haven't walked in my shoes so they can't really understand what Alzheimer's can do to a person and their carer.

I think that this will be it and that my mum will end up in a nursing home. The one that she was staying in during this period of respite now won't take her in as a full-time resident so I'll have to start searching again when I get home...

Thanks for being there and for being my rock ........

Paul

P.S. I did cancel my trip to he cinema today because of the news from home but I did end up going to my first American Football game..... It was only a college game but the Cincinnati Bearcats won so it was all good

 

[jenniferpa]

Good for you Paul. Take care and enjoy your holiday.

Jennifer

 

[DickG]

Hi Paul

You will achieve much more by having a good rest rather than rushing back home, you will need all your reserves when you get back home so enjoy the break. I suspect that your loved ones understand your situation more than you appreciate so listen to waht they say.

My thoughts are with you.

Dick

 

[mel]

Hi Paul
hope you're enjoying your holiday
love xx