POST BURNOUT plus eight weeks

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Roses40, Nov 17, 2015.

  1. Roses40

    Roses40 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    473
    manchester
    Post burnout, must go on
    I knew I'd reached crisis point. My Dad knew I'd reached crisis point.
    We decided that in the best interests of all concerned it was time for a care home for my Dad.
    Enter plea to social worker (we are not self funding).
    I said that I could not continue helping my Dad. I thought that if I withdrew my labour they would see that my Dad needed to be in a place where "all of his needs may be more likely to be met" They agreed to assess his needs and I rented a caravan on a week to week basis. Staying away for the whole week was horrendous. Apparently he was asked what he wanted to eat? He doesn't know!!!
    Every entry in the carer's log said that Joe was okay or Joe was fine. There was no record of the regular falls or incidences of incontinence. Neither was there any note of the look of desolation on his face. I tried to stay away and talked myself into thinking that it was working having 4 x a day carer's coming in because he doesn't meet the criteria to gain entry to a care home. I could have a life again before it's too late for me also. Four weeks on and tough love is not for me. I can't bear it any longer. I'm back to square one so I have to work smarter so that I don't burn out again so soon.
    Another four weeks have gone by. Dad is looking more content and being more compliant. He is taking liquid paracetamol three times a day which seems to help. I have a carer comes in on weekdays to help him wash and dress and he has attended a support group twice on a weekly basis. I go once a week to an art class.
    I wanted to share my recent experiences because I was at rock bottom, however, my mindset has somehow shifted in a positive way and I hope this might resonate with some of you
     
  2. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,552
    Female
    England
    Great to hear you are doing so much better but do take care of yourself. We all have a limit and we must be aware of it. Well done you have come a long way and I am sure your Dad is benefiting from the changes too.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    Oh so well done you xxxxxx How loving you are. I'm so glad you have found a way around some of it. Are you getting all the alllowances you are entitled to? Attendance Allowance, non means tested - carers allowance depends on your income and have you had a carers assessment to give you some hours respite as his carer?

    If you have time I would suggest you join a carers cafe (where you go without dad) or a memory cafe (where you can both go together) because you will meet other carers locally and find out about more of the services available to you.

    Really well done, that was so tough for you xxxx
     

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