1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. grimsby28

    grimsby28 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2008
    31
    grimsby
    hi has anyone experience this my mum is obsessed with three things in her life one being her house she lived in over 10 month before she came to live with my husband and i second thing her purse third constantly feeling in her pockets is this to be expected for some one with vascular demitia she ask me around 20 times a day if i have her house keys if she not asking me she ask my husband we went out for the evening at the weekend and she was like a child and went in a mood it was first time we had been out since she came to live with us it is causing a great deal of strain on our marriage as i feel like the adult and she the child and dont think my husband fully understands her illness
     
  2. Tina

    Tina Registered User

    May 19, 2006
    420
    Dear grimsby28,

    my aunt had vascular dementia and had a total fixation on her handbag and the money inside it...took it everwhere, slept with it under her pillow, and got distressed when she couldn't see it or didn't know where it was. Once, the strap on it broke, and her daughter-in-law and I bought her a new handbag, unaware how much additional confusion and distress this would cause.
    All part of the illness, or one possible manifestation of it as it progresses...:(
     
  3. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    5,543
    Hi Grimsby28

    Yes, my mother in law did all the thing's you discribe. We use to give her a box of button's, coin's old nick nack's when she was seated, it kept her happy for ages, she would rummage through them and sort them. Also she liked to fold thing's up, hanky's, tea towel's etc. Key wise, we gave her a set that did not fit anything in the house, so she could not harm herself by getting out, but the fact she had key;s was enough. An her handbag, always had to have a purse, we filled it with silver, and copper. It made her happy.
    Don't know if this of any help.
    Luv Barb X:)
     
  4. grimsby28

    grimsby28 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2008
    31
    grimsby
    possesions

    thanks for your help i will try to give her some old keys and had another idea of buying some toy money from early learning centre some one told me they had some that looked almost real as she only goes out with me or my husband we can make sure she does not use it and as our keys are out of site at home she cant use them in our door thankyou all for your help hope it works can but try
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,668
    Kent
    Hello Grimsby,

    My husband has the same fixation with his wallet, his money, his house keys and his watch. They are all symbols of security.
     
  6. susiewoo

    susiewoo Registered User

    Oct 28, 2006
    82
    Bromley Kent
    My Mum was totally fixated on her handbag and would need it by her constantly...that was a year ago and she rarely picks it up now or even mentions it.She used to get so agitiated about the fear of losing her handbag and I had forgotten until reading these posts how draining it could be to have her ask the same thing 20 times.She has been in a home for a year now and is very peaceful and happy thank God.
     
  7. BeverleyY

    BeverleyY Registered User

    Jan 29, 2008
    716
    Ashford, Kent
    My Dad has vascular dementia.

    He is fixated on his keys and money. He also hides things he thinks are important (currently still cannot find his bank card and bus pass).

    Perhaps your husband should read the factsheet on Vascular Dementia - maybe that will help him understand. I know my husband sometimes says to me, am I really sure that Dad isn't just a bit confused with a dodgy memory. I am not sure sometimes if he realises the seriousness of it. At other times, I think he does and he is just trying to keep me positive.

    Beverley x
     

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